Chamberss Edinburgh Journal, No. 437 | Page 6

him at a better rate. When the
congregation are all met, and the service is commenced, he is religious
enough, or knowing enough, to walk stealthily in, and set himself upon
the poor bench, where he sits quietly, well behaved and attentive to the
end; for which very proper conduct he is pretty sure to meet an
additional reward during the exit of the assembly, as they defile past
him at the gate when all is over. In the afternoon, he is off to the
immediate precinct of some park or public promenade; and selecting a
well-frequented approach to the general rendezvous, will cleanse and
purify the crossing or pathway in his own peculiar and elaborate style,
vastly to the admiration of the gaily-dressed pedestrians, and it is to be
supposed, to his own profit. Besides this really clever and enterprising
genius, there is a numerous tribe of a very different description, who
must sally forth literally by the thousand every Sunday morning when
the weather is fine, and who take possession of every gate, stile, and
wicket, throughout the widespread suburban districts of the metropolis
in all directions. They are of both sexes and all ages; and go where you
will, it is impossible to go through a gate, or get over a stile, without
the proffer of their assistance, for which, of course, you are expected to
pay, whether you use it or not. Some of these fellows have a truly
ruffianly aspect, and waylay you in secluded lanes and narrow
pathways; and carrying a broom-stump, which looks marvellously like
a bludgeon, no doubt often levy upon the apprehensions of a timorous
pedestrian a contribution which his charity would not be so blind as to
bestow. The whole of this tribe constitute a monster-nuisance, which
ought to be abated by the exertions of the police.
No. 6 are the deformed, maimed, and crippled sweepers, of whom there
is a considerable number constantly at work, and, to do them justice,
they appear by no means the least energetic of the brotherhood. Nature
frequently compensates bodily defects by the bestowal of a vigorous
temperament. The sweeper of one leg or one arm, or the poor cripple
who, but for the support of his broom, would be crawling on all-fours,
is as active, industrious, and efficient as the best man on the road; and

he takes a pride in the proof of his prowess, surveying his work when it
is finished with a complacency too evident to escape notice. He
considers, perhaps, that he has an extra claim upon the public on
account of the afflictions he has undergone, and we imagine that such
claim must be pretty extensively allowed: we know no other mode of
accounting for the fact, that now and then one of these supposed
maimed or halt performers turns out to be an impostor, who,
considering a broken limb, or something tantamount to that, essential to
the success of his broom, concocts an impromptu fracture or
amputation to serve his purpose. Some few years ago, a lively,
sailor-looking fellow appeared as a one-handed sweeper in a genteel
square on the Surrey side of the water. The right sleeve of his jacket
waved emptily in the wind, but he flourished his left arm so vigorously
in the air, and completed the gyration of his weapon, when it stuck fast
in the mud, so manfully by the impulse of his right leg, that he became
quite a popular favourite, and won 'copper opinions from all sorts of
men,' to say nothing of a shower of sixpences from the ladies in the
square. Unfortunately for the continuance of his prosperity, a
gentleman intimate with one of his numerous patronesses, while
musing in the twilight at an upstairs window, saw the fellow enter his
cottage after his day's work, release his right arm from the durance in
which it had lain beneath his jacket for ten or twelve hours, and
immediately put the power of the long-imprisoned limb to the test by
belabouring his wife with it. That same night every tenant in the square
was made acquainted with the disguised arm, and the use for which it
was reserved, and the ingenious performer was the next morning
delivered over to the police. The law, however, allows a man to dispose
of his limbs as he chooses; and as the delinquent was never proved to
have said that he had lost an arm; and as he urged that one arm being
enough for the profession he had embraced, he considered he had a
right to reserve the other until he had occasion for it--he was allowed to
go about his business.
No. 7, and the last in our classification, are the Female Sweepers.--It is
singular, that among these we rarely if ever