Chamberss Edinburgh Journal, No. 434 | Page 3

daughter of his
managing clerk.
The first that comes to hand is addressed thus: 'No.
2795.--DECLARATIVE NOTICE.--From the Times, August 15, 1851.'
The contents are a circular, handsomely printed on three crowded sides
of royal quarto glazed post, and containing a list of articles for
peremptory disposal, under unheard-of advantages, on the premises of
Mr Gobblemadam, at No. 541 New Ruin Street. Without disguising
anything more than the addresses of these puffing worthies, we shall
quote verbatim a few paragraphs from their productions. The catalogue
of bargains in the one before us comprises almost every species of
textile manufacture, as well native as foreign--among which silks,
shawls, dresses, furs, and mantles are the most prominent; and amazing
bargains they are--witness the following extracts:

'A marvellous variety of fancy silks, cost from 4 to 5 guineas each, will
be sold for L.1, 19s. 6d. each.
Robes of damas and broche (foreign), cost 6 guineas, to be sold for
2-1/2 guineas.
Embroidered muslin robes, newest fashion, cost 18s. 9d., to be sold for
9s. 6d.
Worked lace dresses, cost 35s., to be sold at 14s. 9d.
Do. do. cost 28s. 6d., to be sold at 7s. 6d.
Newest dresses, of fashionable materials, worth 35s., to be sold for 9s.
9d.
Splendid Paisley shawls, worth 2-1/2 guineas, for 16s.
Cashmere shawls (perfect gems), cost 4 guineas, to be sold for 35s.'
A long list of similar bargains closes with a declaration that, although
these prices are mentioned, a clearance of the premises, rather than a
compensation for the value of the goods, is the great object in view;
that the articles will be got rid of regardless of price; and that 'the
disposal will assume the character of a gratuitous distribution, rather
than of an actual sale.' This is pretty well for the first hap-hazard
plunge into the half-bushel piled upon our table. Mr Gobblemadam
may go down. Let us see what the next will produce.
The second is addressed thus: 'To be opened within two hours after
delivery.--SPECIAL COMMISSION.--Final Audit, 30th October
1851.' The contents are a closely-printed extra-royal folio broadside,
issued by the firm of Messrs Shavelass and Swallowher, of Tottering
Terrace West. It contains a voluminous list of useful domestic goods,
presenting the most enormous bargains, in the way of sheetings,
shirtings, flannels, diapers, damasks, dimities, table-cloths, &c. &c.
The economical housewife is cautioned by this generous firm, that to
disregard the present opportunity would be the utmost excess of folly,

as the whole stock is to be peremptorily sold considerably under half
the cost price. The following are a few of the items:
'Irish lines, warranted genuine, 9-1/2d. per yard.
Fine cambric handkerchiefs, 2s. 6d. per dozen.
Curtain damask, in all colours, 6-1/2d. per yard.
Swiss curtains, elegantly embroidered, four yards long, for 6s. 9d. a
pair--cost 17s. 6d.
Drawing-room curtains, elaborately wrought, at 8s. 6d. a pair--cost
21s.'
The bargains, in short, as Messrs Shavelass and Swallowher observe,
are of such an astounding description, as 'to strike all who witness them
with wonder, amazement, and surprise;' and 'demand inspection from
every lady who desires to unite superiority of taste with genuine quality
and economy.'
The next is a remarkably neat envelope, with a handsomely embossed
border, bearing the words, 'ON ESPECIAL SERVICE' under the
address, and winged with a two-penny stamp. The enclosure is a
specimen of fine printing on smooth, thin vellum, in the form of a
quarto catalogue, with a deep, black-bordered title-page, emanating
from the dreary establishment of Messrs Moan and Groan, of Cypress
Row. Here commerce condescends to sympathy, and measures forth to
bereaved and afflicted humanity the outward and visible symbols of
their hidden griefs. Here, when you enter his gloomy penetralia, and
invoke his services, the sable-clad and cadaverous-featured shopman
asks you, in a sepulchral voice--we are not writing romance, but simple
fact--whether you are to be suited for inextinguishable sorrow, or for
mere passing grief; and if you are at all in doubt upon the subject, he
can solve the problem for you, if you lend him your confidence for the
occasion. He knows from long and melancholy experience the
agonising intensity of wo expressed by bombazine, crape, and
Paramatta; can tell to a sigh the precise amount of regret that resides in

a black bonnet; and can match any degree of internal anguish with its
corresponding shade of colour, from the utter desolation and
inconsolable wretchedness of dead and dismal black, to the transient
sentiment of sorrowful remembrance so appropriately symbolised by
the faintest shade of lavender or French gray. Messrs Moan and Groan
know well enough, that when the heart is burdened with sorrow,
considerations of economy are likely to be banished from the mind as
out of place, and disrespectful to the memory of the departed; and,
therefore, they do not