Chamberss Edinburgh Journal, No. 427 | Page 4

of his patients than he had fair reason to expect.
With nearly fifteen thousand members, the deaths in the club became
alarmingly frequent. Nogoe, as he took snuff out of his gold box,
shrugged his shoulders at the rapid disappearance of the funds, as one
ten-pound cheque after another was handed over to the disconsolate
widows. His uneasiness was not at all alleviated by the reception of a
bill of two hundred and fifty pounds for properties, &c. among which
stood his snuff-box, set down at thirty-five guineas, upon which he
knew, for he had tried, that no pawnbroker would lend ten pounds. He
called a special council of all the officers of the club, and laid the state
of affairs before them. The first thing they did, was to pass a vote for
the immediate payment of the property bills; a measure which is hardly

to be wondered at, if we take into account that they were themselves
the creditors. The treasurer handed them a cheque for the amount; and
then, apprising them that there was now, with claims daily increasing,
less than two hundred pounds in hand, which must of necessity be soon
exhausted, demanded their advice. They advised a reissue of
prospectuses and advertisements; which being carried into effect at the
cost of a hundred pounds, brought a shoal of fresh applicants, with their
entrance-money, and for the moment relieved the pressure upon the
exchequer.
But when the November fogs brought the influenza, and a hundred of
the members were thrown upon their backs and the fund at once; when
it became necessary to engage additional medical assistance; and when,
in spite of unremitting energy in the departments of prospectusing,
puffing, and personal canvassing, the money leaked out five times as
fast as it came in, then Mr Nogoe began to find his position peculiarly
unpleasant, and anything but a bed of roses. With 'fourscore odd' of
sick members yet upon the books--with five deaths and three
half-deaths unpaid--and the epidemic yet in full force, he beheld an
unwholesome December threatening a continuation of sickness and
mortality, and a balance at the banker's hardly sufficient to pay his own
quarter's salary. Again he calls his colleagues together, and states the
deplorable condition of affairs. The representatives of the five deceased
members, whom Nogoe has put off from time to time on various
ingenious pretences, having become aware of the meeting, burst in
upon their deliberations, and after an exchange of no very
complimentary remonstrances, backed by vehement demands for
immediate payment, are with difficulty induced to withdraw, while the
committee enter upon the consideration of their cases. Nogoe produces
his budget, from the examination of which it appears, that if they are
paid in full, there will remain in the hands of the bankers, to meet the
demands of the 'fourscore odd' sick members, the sum of 4s. 7d. What
is to be done? is now the question. A speechification of three hours,
during which every member of the committee is heard in his turn, helps
them to no other expedient than that of a subscription for the widows,
and a renewed agitation, by means of the press and the bill-sticker, to
re-establish the funds by the collection of fresh fees and

entrance-money. The subscription, the charge of which is confided to a
deputy, authorised to collect voluntary donations from the various
lodges about town, turns out a failure: the widows, who want their ten
pounds each, disgusted at the offer of a few shillings, flock in a body to
the nearest sitting magistrate, and clamorously lay their case before his
worship, who gravely informs them, that the Charitable Chums' Benefit
Society being duly enrolled according to Act of Parliament, he can
render them no assistance, as he is not authorised to interfere with their
proceedings.
In the face of this exposure, the agitation for cramming the society
down the throats of the public goes on more desperately than ever. By
this means, Mr Nogoe manages to hold on till Christmas, and then
pocketing his salary, resigns his office in favour of Mr Dunderhead,
who has hitherto figured as honorary Vice-Something, and who enters
upon office with a gravity becoming the occasion. Under his
management, affairs are soon brought to a stand-still. Notwithstanding
his profound faith in the capabilities of the Charitable Chums, and his
settled conviction that their immense body must embrace the elements
of stability, his whole course is but one rapid descent down to the verge,
and headlong over the precipice, of bankruptcy. The dismal
announcement of 'no effects,' first breathed in dolorous confidence at
the bedsides of the sick, soon takes wind. All the C.C.s in London are
aghast and indignant at the news; and the 'Mother Bunch' is nightly
assailed by tumultuous crowds of