Catherine Booth | Page 8

us be one, come
what may.'
This is exactly what they did, and after meeting, and together
consecrating their lives to God, they solemnly pledged themselves to
each other.
And now began a three-years' engagement, in which, though often for
long months at a time they never met, they remained true to each other
and to God, in thought and word and deed.
Many of the beautiful letters that our Army Mother wrote to The
General at this time, I am glad to tell you, have been kept, and we will
look together at some of the ways in which she tried to help and cheer
him.
In the first letter after their engagement she ends with these words:--
'The more you lead me up to Christ in all things, the more highly shall I
esteem you; and if it be possible to love you more than I do now, the
more shall I love you. You are always present in my thoughts.'
Now you must not think that, even in these early days, our General had
a very easy life. He was often much perplexed and troubled, longing
above all to do God's Will for the Salvation of the people, and yet not
quite sure what that Will was. At these times Catherine was of untold
help to him.
Once he was very unsettled--not certain whether he should remain
away in the North of England, or accept a place in London, where the
two could often meet. Most girls would have said, 'Oh, come, then we
shall be near to each other'; but you will see that her advice to him is
just as suitable for you when you are not certain of your duty--that she
does not consider her own feelings at all.
'I wish,' she writes, 'you prayed more and talked less about the matter.
Try it, and be determined to get clear and settled views as to your
course. Leave your heart before God, and get satisfied in His sight, and
then do it, be it what it may. I cannot bear the idea of your being
unhappy. Pray do in this as you feel in your soul it will be right. My
conscience is no standard for yours.'

Then she adds, lower down:--
'Oh, if you come to London, let us be determined to reap a blessed
harvest. Let our fellowship be sanctified to our souls' everlasting good.
My mind is made up to do my part towards it. I hope to be firm as a
rock on some points. The Lord help me. We must aim to improve each
other's mind and character. Let us pray for grace to do it in the best way
and to the fullest extent possible.'
'Anyway,' she says, a day or two later--and ever remember her words
when outside things try and distress you--'don't let the controversy hurt
your soul. Live near to God by prayer.... You believe He answers
prayer. Then take courage. Just fall down at His feet, and open your
very soul before Him, and throw yourself right into His arms. Tell Him
that if you are wrong you only wait to be set right, and, be the path
rough or smooth, you will walk in it.
'Oh, you must live close to God! If you are a greater distance from Him
than you were, just stop the whirl of outward things, or rather leave it,
and shut yourself up with Him till all is clear and bright upwards. Do,
there's a dear. Oh, how much we lose by not coming to the point. Now,
at once, realize your union with Christ, and trust Him to lead you
through this perplexity. Bless you. Excuse this advice. I am anxious for
your soul. Look up. If God hears my prayers, He must guide you--He
will guide you.'
In these early days our General was tempted, as some of us are tempted
to-day, to feel nervous and shy when talking before large crowds, and
where the people were better dressed and better off than usual. He
wrote his feelings to Catherine, and she sends him back her wise advice
and help. 'I am sorry for this,' she says, 'and am persuaded it is the fear
of man which shackles you. Do not give place to this feeling.
Remember you are the Lord's servant, and if you are a faithful one it
will be a small matter with you to be judged of man's judgment. Let
nothing be wanting beforehand to make what you say helpful, but when
you are before the people try to think only of your own responsibility to
Him who hath sent you.'
Again, later, she writes:--
'Try and cast off the fear of man. Fix your eyes simply on the glory of
God, and