Candide | Page 9

he brought me to
this country house you now see. I had hitherto believed that nothing
could equal the beauty of the castle of Thunder-ten-tronckh; but I found
I was mistaken.
"The Grand Inquisitor saw me one day at Mass, ogled me all the time
of service, and when it was over, sent to let me know he wanted to
speak with me about some private business. I was conducted to his
palace, where I told him all my story; he represented to me how much
it was beneath a person of my birth to belong to a circumcised Israelite.
He caused a proposal to be made to Don Issachar, that he should resign
me to His Lordship. Don Issachar, being the court banker and a man of
credit, was not easy to be prevailed upon. His Lordship threatened him
with an auto-da-fe; in short, my Jew was frightened into a compromise,
and it was agreed between them, that the house and myself should
belong to both in common; that the Jew should have Monday,
Wednesday, and the Sabbath to himself; and the Inquisitor the other

four days of the week. This agreement has subsisted almost six months;
but not without several contests, whether the space from Saturday night
to Sunday morning belonged to the old or the new law. For my part, I
have hitherto withstood them both, and truly I believe this is the very
reason why they are both so fond of me.
"At length to turn aside the scourge of earthquakes, and to intimidate
Don Issachar, My Lord Inquisitor was pleased to celebrate an
auto-da-fe. He did me the honor to invite me to the ceremony. I had a
very good seat; and refreshments of all kinds were offered the ladies
between Mass and the execution. I was dreadfully shocked at the
burning of the two Jews, and the honest Biscayan who married his
godmother; but how great was my surprise, my consternation, and
concern, when I beheld a figure so like Pangloss, dressed in a sanbenito
and mitre! I rubbed my eyes, I looked at him attentively. I saw him
hanged, and I fainted away: scarce had I recovered my senses, when I
saw you stripped of clothing; this was the height of horror, grief, and
despair. I must confess to you for a truth, that your skin is whiter and
more blooming than that of the Bulgarian captain. This spectacle
worked me up to a pitch of distraction. I screamed out, and would have
said, 'Hold, barbarians!' but my voice failed me; and indeed my cries
would have signified nothing. After you had been severely whipped, I
said to myself, 'How is it possible that the lovely Candide and the sage
Pangloss should be at Lisbon, the one to receive a hundred lashes, and
the other to be hanged by order of My Lord Inquisitor, of whom I am
so great a favorite? Pangloss deceived me most cruelly, in saying that
everything is for the best.'
"Thus agitated and perplexed, now distracted and lost, now half dead
with grief, I revolved in my mind the murder of my father, mother, and
brother, committed before my eyes; the insolence of the rascally
Bulgarian soldier; the wound he gave me in the groin; my servitude;
my being a cook-wench to my Bulgarian captain; my subjection to the
hateful Jew, and my cruel Inquisitor; the hanging of Doctor Pangloss;
the Miserere sung while you were being whipped; and particularly the
kiss I gave you behind the screen, the last day I ever beheld you. I
returned thanks to God for having brought you to the place where I was,

after so many trials. I charged the old woman who attends me to bring
you hither as soon as was convenient. She has punctually executed my
orders, and I now enjoy the inexpressible satisfaction of seeing you,
hearing you, and speaking to you. But you must certainly be half-dead
with hunger; I myself have a great inclination to eat, and so let us sit
down to supper."
Upon this the two lovers immediately placed themselves at table, and,
after having supped, they returned to seat themselves again on the
magnificent sofa already mentioned, where they were in amorous
dalliance, when Senor Don Issachar, one of the masters of the house,
entered unexpectedly; it was the Sabbath day, and he came to enjoy his
privilege, and sigh forth his passion at the feet of the fair Cunegund.

CHAPTER 9
What Happened to Cunegund, Candide, the Grand Inquisitor, and the
Jew
This same Issachar was the most choleric little Hebrew that had ever
been in Israel since the captivity of Babylon.
"What," said he, "thou Galilean slut? The Inquisitor was not enough for
thee, but this rascal must come in for