Candide | Page 2

and usages of war. Had Voltaire lived
to-day he would have done to poverty what he did to war. Pitying the
poor, he would have shown us poverty as a ridiculous anachronism,
and both the ridicule and the pity would have expressed his indignation.
Almost any modern, essaying a philosophic tale, would make it long.
"Candide" is only a "Hamlet" and a half long. It would hardly have
been shorter if Voltaire had spent three months on it, instead of those
three days. A conciseness to be matched in English by nobody except
Pope, who can say a plagiarizing enemy "steals much, spends little, and
has nothing left," a conciseness which Pope toiled and sweated for,
came as easy as wit to Voltaire. He can afford to be witty,
parenthetically, by the way, prodigally, without saving, because he
knows there is more wit where that came from.
One of Max Beerbohm's cartoons shows us the young Twentieth
Century going at top speed, and watched by two of his predecessors.
Underneath is this legend: "The Grave Misgivings of the Nineteenth
Century, and the Wicked Amusement of the Eighteenth, in Watching
the Progress (or whatever it is) of the Twentieth." This Eighteenth
Century snuff-taking and malicious, is like Voltaire, who nevertheless
must know, if he happens to think of it, that not yet in the Twentieth
Century, not for all its speed mania, has any one come near to equalling

the speed of a prose tale by Voltaire. "Candide" is a full book. It is
filled with mockery, with inventiveness, with things as concrete as
things to eat and coins, it has time for the neatest intellectual clickings,
it is never hurried, and it moves with the most amazing rapidity. It has
the rapidity of high spirits playing a game. The dry high spirits of this
destroyer of optimism make most optimists look damp and depressed.
Contemplation of the stupidity which deems happiness possible almost
made Voltaire happy. His attack on optimism is one of the gayest
books in the world. Gaiety has been scattered everywhere up and down
its pages by Voltaire's lavish hand, by his thin fingers.
Many propagandist satirical books have been written with "Candide" in
mind, but not too many. To-day, especially, when new faiths are
changing the structure of the world, faiths which are still plastic enough
to be deformed by every disciple, each disciple for himself, and which
have not yet received the final deformation known as universal
acceptance, to-day "Candide" is an inspiration to every narrative satirist
who hates one of these new faiths, or hates every interpretation of it but
his own. Either hatred will serve as a motive to satire.
That is why the present is one of the right moments to republish
"Candide." I hope it will inspire younger men and women, the only
ones who can be inspired, to have a try at Theodore, or Militarism; Jane,
or Pacifism; at So-and-So, the Pragmatist or the Freudian. And I hope,
too, that they will without trying hold their pens with an eighteenth
century lightness, not inappropriate to a philosophic tale. In Voltaire's
fingers, as Anatole France has said, the pen runs and laughs. PHILIP
LITTELL.

CONTENTS
CHAPTER PAGE
I. How Candide was brought up in a Magnificent Castle, and how he
was expelled thence 1

II. What became of Candide among the Bulgarians 5
III. How Candide made his escape from the Bulgarians, and what
afterwards became of him 9
IV. How Candide found his old Master Pangloss, and what happened to
them 13
V. Tempest, Shipwreck, Earthquake, and what became of Doctor
Pangloss, Candide, and James the Anabaptist 18
VI. How the Portuguese made a Beautiful Auto-da-fé, to prevent any
further Earthquakes: and how Candide was publicly whipped 23
VII. How the Old Woman took care of Candide, and how he found the
Object he loved 26
VIII. The History of Cunegonde 30
IX. What became of Cunegonde, Candide, the Grand Inquisitor, and the
Jew 35
X. In what distress Candide, Cunegonde, and the Old Woman arrived at
Cadiz; and of their Embarkation 38
XI. History of the Old Woman 42
XII. The Adventures of the Old Woman continued 48
XIII. How Candide was forced away from his fair Cunegonde and the
Old Woman 54
XIV. How Candide and Cacambo were received by the Jesuits of
Paraguay 58
XV. How Candide killed the brother of his dear Cunegonde 64
XVI. Adventures of the Two Travellers, with Two Girls, Two Monkeys,
and the Savages called Oreillons 68

XVII. Arrival of Candide and his Valet at El Dorado, and what they
saw there 74
XVIII. What they saw in the Country of El Dorado 80
XIX. What happened to them at Surinam and how Candide got
acquainted with Martin 89
XX. What happened at Sea