Candide | Page 7

when the familiar
beckoned to his attendant to help him to a glass of port wine.

CHAPTER 6
How the Portuguese Made a Superb Auto-De-Fe to Prevent Any Future
Earthquakes, and How Candide Underwent Public Flagellation
After the earthquake, which had destroyed three-fourths of the city of
Lisbon, the sages of that country could think of no means more
effectual to preserve the kingdom from utter ruin than to entertain the
people with an auto-da-fe, it having been decided by the University of
Coimbra, that the burning of a few people alive by a slow fire, and with
great ceremony, is an infallible preventive of earthquakes.
In consequence thereof they had seized on a Biscayan for marrying his
godmother, and on two Portuguese for taking out the bacon of a larded

pullet they were eating; after dinner they came and secured Dr.
Pangloss, and his pupil Candide, the one for speaking his mind, and the
other for seeming to approve what he had said. They were conducted to
separate apartments, extremely cool, where they were never
incommoded with the sun. Eight days afterwards they were each
dressed in a sanbenito, and their heads were adorned with paper mitres.
The mitre and sanbenito worn by Candide were painted with flames
reversed and with devils that had neither tails nor claws; but Dr.
Pangloss's devils had both tails and claws, and his flames were upright.
In these habits they marched in procession, and heard a very pathetic
sermon, which was followed by an anthem, accompanied by bagpipes.
Candide was flogged to some tune, while the anthem was being sung;
the Biscayan and the two men who would not eat bacon were burned,
and Pangloss was hanged, which is not a common custom at these
solemnities. The same day there was another earthquake, which made
most dreadful havoc.
Candide, amazed, terrified, confounded, astonished, all bloody, and
trembling from head to foot, said to himself, "If this is the best of all
possible worlds, what are the others? If I had only been whipped, I
could have put up with it, as I did among the Bulgarians; but, not
withstanding, oh my dear Pangloss! my beloved master! thou greatest
of philosophers! that ever I should live to see thee hanged, without
knowing for what! O my dear Anabaptist, thou best of men, that it
should be thy fate to be drowned in the very harbor! O Miss Cunegund,
you mirror of young ladies! that it should be your fate to have your
body ripped open!"
He was making the best of his way from the place where he had been
preached to, whipped, absolved and blessed, when he was accosted by
an old woman, who said to him, "Take courage, child, and follow me."

CHAPTER 7
How the Old Woman Took Care Of Candide, and How He Found the

Object of His Love
Candide followed the old woman, though without taking courage, to a
decayed house, where she gave him a pot of pomatum to anoint his
sores, showed him a very neat bed, with a suit of clothes hanging by it;
and set victuals and drink before him.
"There," said she, "eat, drink, and sleep, and may Our Lady of Atocha,
and the great St. Anthony of Padua, and the illustrious St. James of
Compostella, take you under their protection. I shall be back
tomorrow."
Candide, struck with amazement at what he had seen, at what he had
suffered, and still more with the charity of the old woman, would have
shown his acknowledgment by kissing her hand.
"It is not my hand you ought to kiss," said the old woman. "I shall be
back tomorrow. Anoint your back, eat, and take your rest."
Candide, notwithstanding so many disasters, ate and slept. The next
morning, the old woman brought him his breakfast; examined his back,
and rubbed it herself with another ointment. She returned at the proper
time, and brought him his dinner; and at night, she visited him again
with his supper. The next day she observed the same ceremonies.
"Who are you?" said Candide to her. "Who has inspired you with so
much goodness? What return can I make you for this charitable
assistance?"
The good old beldame kept a profound silence. In the evening she
returned, but without his supper.
"Come along with me," said she, "but do not speak a word."
She took him by the arm, and walked with him about a quarter of a
mile into the country, till they came to a lonely house surrounded with
moats and gardens. The old conductress knocked at a little door, which
was immediately opened, and she showed him up a pair of back stairs,

into a small, but richly furnished apartment. There she made him sit
down on a brocaded