By Advice of Counsel | Page 3

trouble, had sworn that he had seen Tony throw the brick.
Hadn't the butcher said he'd seen him? Besides, that let the Dutchman
out of a possible suit for false arrest. Then the magistrate looked down
at the cop himself.
"Do you know this boy?" he asked sharply.
"Sure, Yerroner. He's a gangster. Admitted it to me on the way over."
"Are you really over sixteen?" suddenly demanded the judge, who
knew and distrusted Delany, having repeatedly stated in open court that
he wouldn't hang a yellow dog on his testimony. The underfed,
undersized boy did not look more than fourteen.
"Yes, sir," said Tony. "I was sixteen last week."
"Got anybody to defend you?"
Tony looked at Simpkins inquiringly. He seemed a very kind
gentleman.
"Mr. Hogan's case, judge," answered Joey. "Please make the bail as low
as you can."
Now this judge was a political accident, having been pitchforked into
office by the providence that sometimes watches over sailors, drunks
and third parties. Moreover, in spite of being a reformer he was
nobody's fool, and when the other reformers who were fools got
promptly fired out of office he had been reappointed by a supposedly
crooked boss simply because, as the boss said, he had made a hell of a
good judge and they needed somebody with brains here and there to
throw a front. Incidentally, he had a swell cousin on Fifth Avenue who
had invited the boss and his wife to dinner, by reason of which the
soreheads who lost out went round asking what kind of a note it was
when a silk-stocking crook could buy a nine-thousand-dollar job for a

fifty-dollar dinner. Anyhow, he was clean and clean-looking, kindly,
humorous and wise above his years--which were thirty-one. And Tony
looked to him like a poor runt, Simpkins and Delany were both rascals,
Froelich wasn't in court, and he sensed a nigger somewhere. He would
have turned Tony out on the run had he had any excuse. He hadn't, but
he tried.
"Would you like an immediate hearing?" he asked Tony in an
encouraging tone.
"Mr. Hogan can't be here until to-morrow morning," interposed
Simpkins. "Besides, we shall want to produce witnesses. Make it
to-morrow afternoon, judge."
Judge Harrison leaned forward.
"Are you sure you wouldn't prefer to have the hearing now?" he
inquired with a smile at the trembling boy.
"Well, I want to get Froelich here--if you're going to proceed now,"
spoke up Delany. "And I'd like to look up this defendant's record at
headquarters."
Tony quailed. He feared and distrusted everybody, except the kind Mr.
Simpkins. He suspected that smooth judge of trying to railroad him.
"No! No!" he whispered to the lawyer. "I want my mother should be
here; and the janitor, he knows I was in my house. The rabbi, he will
give me a good character."
The judge heard and shrugged his bombazine-covered shoulders. It was
no use. The children of darkness were wiser in their generation than the
children of light.
"Five hundred dollars bail," he remarked shortly. "Officer, have your
witnesses ready to proceed to-morrow afternoon at two o'clock."
* * * * *

"Mr. Tutt," said Tutt with a depressed manner as he watched Willie
remove the screen and drag out the old gate-leg table for the firm's
daily five o'clock tea and conference in the senior partner's office, "if a
man called you a shyster what would you do about it?"
The elder lawyer sucked meditatively on the fag end of his stogy before
replying.
"Why not sue him?" Mr. Tutt inquired.
"But suppose he didn't have any money?" replied Tutt disgustedly.
"Then why not have him arrested?" continued Mr. Tutt. "It's libelous
per se to call a lawyer a shyster."
"Even if he is one," supplemented Miss Minerva Wiggin ironically, as
she removed her paper cuffs preparatory to lighting the alcohol lamp
under the teakettle. "The greater the truth the greater the libel, you
know!"
"And what do you mean by that?" sharply rejoined Tutt. "You don't--"
"No," replied the managing clerk of Tutt & Tutt. "I don't! Of course not!
And frankly, I don't know what a shyster is."
"Neither do I," admitted Tutt. "But it sounds opprobrious. Still, that is a
rather dangerous test. You remember that colored client of ours who
wanted us to bring an action against somebody for calling him an
Ethiopian!"
"There's nothing dishonorable in being an Ethiopian," asserted Miss
Wiggin.
"A shyster," said Mr. Tutt, reading from the Century Dictionary, "is
defined as 'one who does business trickily; a person without
professional honor; used chiefly of lawyers.'"
"Well?" snapped Tutt.

"Well?" echoed Miss Wiggin.
"H'm! Well!" concluded Mr. Tutt.
"I nominate for the first pedestal in our Hall of Legal Ill Fame--Raphael
B. Hogan," announced Tutt, complacently disregarding all innuendoes.