Breaking Dawn | Page 9

to resist feeling the
way he wanted you to feel.
I sat up awkwardly, still tangled in my blanket. �Jasper? What do vampires do for
bachelor parties? You�re not taking him to a strip club, are you?�
�Don�t tell her anything!� Emmett growled from below. There was another thud, and
Edward laughed quietly.
�Relax,� Jasper told me�and I did. �We Cullens have our own version. Just a few
mountain lions, a couple of grizzly bears. Pretty much an ordinary night out.�
I wondered if I would ever be able to sound so cavalier about the �vegetarian� vampire
diet.
�Thanks, Jasper.�
He winked and dropped from sight.
It was completely silent outside. Charlie�s muffled snores droned through the walls.
I lay back against my pillow, sleepy now. I stared at the walls of my little room,
bleached pale in the moonlight, from under heavy lids.
My last night in my room. My last night as Isabella Swan. Tomorrow night, I would be
Bella Cullen. Though the whole marriage ordeal was a thorn in my side, I had to admit
that I liked the sound of that.
I let my mind wander idly for a moment, expecting sleep to take me. But, after a few
minutes, I found myself more alert, anxiety creeping back into my stomach, twisting it
into uncomfortable positions. The bed seemed too soft, too warm without Edward in it.
Jasper was far away, and all the peaceful, relaxed feelings were gone with him.
It was going to be a very long day tomorrow.
I was aware that most of my fears were stupid�I just had to get over myself. Attention
was an inevitable part of life. I couldn�t always blend in with the scenery. However, I
did have a few specific worries that were completely valid.
First there was the wedding dress�s train. Alice clearly had let her artistic sense
overpower practicalities on that one. Maneuvering the Cullens� staircase in heels and a
train sounded impossible. I should have practiced.
Then there was the guest list.
Tanya�s family, the Denali clan, would be arriving sometime before the ceremony.
It would be touchy to have Tanya�s family in the same room with our guests from the
Quileute reservation, Jacob�s father and the Clearwaters. The Denalis were no fans of
the werewolves. In fact, Tanya�s sister Irina was not coming to the wedding at all. She
still nursed a vendetta against the werewolves for killing her friend Laurent (just as he
was about to kill me). Thanks to that grudge, the Denalis had abandoned Edward�s
family in their worst hour of need. It had been the unlikely alliance with the Quileute
wolves that had saved all our lives when the horde of newborn vampires had attacked. .
. .
Edward had promised me it wouldn�t be dangerous to have the Denalis near the
Quileutes. Tanya and all her family�besides Irina�felt horribly guilty for that
defection. A truce with the werewolves was a small price to make up some of that debt,
a price they were prepared to pay.
That was the big problem, but there was a small problem, too: my fragile self-esteem.
I�d never seen Tanya before, but I was sure that meeting her wouldn�t be a pleasant
experience for my ego. Once upon a time, before I was born probably, she�d made her
play for Edward�not that I blamed her or anyone else for wanting him. Still, she would
be beautiful at the very least and magnificent at best. Though Edward clearly�if
inconceivably�preferred me, I wouldn�t be able to help making comparisons.
I had grumbled a little until Edward, who knew my weaknesses, made me feel guilty.
�We�re the closest thing they have to family, Bella,� he�d reminded me. �They still feel
like orphans, you know, even after all this time.�
So I�d conceded, hiding my frown.
Tanya had a big family now, almost as big as the Cullens. There were five of them;
Tanya, Kate, and Irina had been joined by Carmen and Eleazar much the same way the
Cullens had been joined by Alice and Jasper, all of them bonded by their desire to live
more compassionately than normal vampires did.
For all the company, though, Tanya and her sisters were still alone in one way. Still in
mourning. Because a very long time ago, they�d had a mother, too.
I could imagine the hole that loss would leave, even after a thousand years; I tried to
visualize the Cullen family without their creator, their center, and their guide�their
father, Carlisle. I couldn�t see it.
Carlisle had explained Tanya�s history during one of the many nights I�d stayed late at
the Cullens� home, learning as much as I could, preparing as much as was possible for
the future I�d chosen. Tanya�s mother�s story was one among many, a cautionary tale
illustrating just one of the rules I would need to be aware of when I joined the immortal
world. Only one rule, actually�one law that broke down into a thousand different
facets: Keep the secret.
Keeping the secret meant a lot of things�living inconspicuously like the Cullens,
moving on before humans could suspect they weren�t aging. Or keeping clear of
humans altogether�except at mealtime�the way nomads