Body Language Basics | Page 7

good luck!

a. The greeting: get off to a good start.

It is good to show an open attitude with your body. Since this is the first
contact signal, it is important to be aware of your posture. An immediate sign
of openness is to have your chest pointing at the person you are meeting or
whom you are interested in addressing (heart-to-heart posture).

The second step is eye contact. Be the first to offer it with a direct look into the
person’s eyes (real contact). Be the first to smile, too. This is a good way to
get the other person’s attention.

A verbal greeting is the next step; the phrase used will depend on the formality
of the situation (“Hi”, “Good afternoon”) and it will also depend on local
customs.

To bring this first approach to an end, you will then need to introduce yourself;
next comes synchronization with the body language of the other person; and
this, in turn, is the step that will lead to an immediate connection.

b. Avoid blinking constantly – this betrays hesitation and insecurity.

c. Try to keep your look direct at all times, and establish eye contact with the
other people; this reveals sincerity and decision.

d. Do not bite your lips or wet them with your tongue, because these are signs of
shyness, insecurity, hesitation, and indecision.

e. Keep your mouth shut and lips together all the time you are listening to the
other person. This shows that you are calm and self-confident. An open
mouth and sagging jaw suggest nervousness, haste, astonishment or
surprise.

f. Always keep an appropriate posture and avoid constant sudden movements;
these denote discomfort, nervousness, fear, and lack of control.

g. Stay alert but inexpressive while others are talking to you. Avoid making
movements with your body at a phrase that surprises you or with which you do
not agree. Make your opinion known at the right time, not before.

h. Control your hand movements; keep your hands visible.

13 i. You should speak in a moderate tone of voice, without hesitation. A hesitant
voice transmits insecurity and shyness. It usually reveals that the person does
not master the topic he is talking about or that his concepts are not firm or well
defined. If you deliberately lower the tone of your voice to make the
auditorium pay attention, you are being manipulative and showing superiority.

j. When speaking, always keep control of yourself, even if you are involved in an
intense discussion or argument.

k. If you want to gain the confidence of the auditorium you are addressing, do not
allow any object to come between you, for example, a desk.

l. Try to identify with your auditorium; adapt your clothing to the social and
economic characteristics of the locality (for example, if you go to a poor
community, you should not go in formal clothing).

m. Find out about the cultural characteristics of the community you are going to,
in order to avoid embarrassing situations (if you are a man, for example, you
must be aware of the correct way to address married women).

n. Remember not to cross your arms over your chest because this is a definite
defense posture or one of rejection.

o. Do not cover your mouth with your hands while you are talking; this shows that
you are not telling the truth or that you feel insecure.

p. Try to have a relaxed posture.


References

(1) Davis F. La comunicación no verbal. Madrid: Alianza Editorial. 1987.

(2) Fast J. El lenguaje del cuerpo. Barcelona: Kairós. 1994.

(3) Kristus M. El lenguaje secreto de su cuerpo ¿Qué revela? Panamá:
América. 1990.

(4) Swanson RM. Los mensajes secretos del cuerpo. México, DF: Leo. 1994.

(5) Brulard M. Gestos para seducir. El lenguaje del cuerpo para la seducción y
el amor. Madrid: EDAF. 1996.

(6) Rebel. G. Body language. Madrid: EDAF. 1995.

(7) Boothman, N. How to make people like you in 90 seconds or less. New
York: Workman Publishing. 2000.