Blood, Sweat Tea | Page 9

that
has lasted 2years. I'd like the jury to note that the pain hasn't changed in
any way, it's not worse, or moved around the body, he has no other
symptoms. But the patient just seems to like calling ambulances. I

wanted to wipe my feet on the way out of the flat.
It also doesn't help when the patient smells so bad that I want to leap
out the side window. We didn't have any air freshener (and apparently,
neither does the hospital).
When we got to the hospital the triage nurse took one look at the
patient, muttered 'Not him again' and sent him out to the waiting room.
I suspect that it may just be a ploy to use biological warfare to empty
the waiting room.
I still keep getting called back to him for the exact same 'problem'.
Workload
Once again I know a lot of visitors here are from America, so I'm going
to explain how the LAS works on a day-to-day basis. This will either
be very boring or immensely interesting - your choice.
Ambulances run out of dedicated stations, we don't share stations with
the Fire Service. In fact, some years ago, when it was suggested the
idea was shot down as we would be disturbing the firecrews' sleep
throughout the night. Each station has it's own call-sign 'K1', 'J2', 'G4'
for example, then each ambo has a suffix that is attached to this so one
ambulance running out of station J2 would be called J201, while
another would be J207.
The stations are spaced approximately 5 - 6miles apart, and you mainly
service the area surrounding the station; however, with interhospital
transfers and other irregularities you can quite easily find yourself
across the other side of London.
It's an old joke that when asking if we need to travel so far the
dispatcher will ask us if it still says London on the side of the
ambulance.
There is a main station, and two or three 'satellite' stations, the main
station will normally have between three and six ambulances running

from it, while the smaller stations have between one and four. There is
less cover at night, and you can easily find yourself being the only
ambulance running from a given station.
Across London we deal with more than 3500 calls per day, and with a
fleet of 400 ambulances of which perhaps only three-quarters are
manned we seldom get a rest. Where I work we average one job an
hour, and are supposed to transport every one of those patients to
hospital.
The longest shift we officially do is 12hours in which we can expect 10
- 13 jobs, which doesn't sound like a lot but is enough to keep us busy...
We spend 97% of our time away from station (compared with 3% for
the fire service).
However, it is a fun job.
Night Shifts
There has been a discussion over on another medical blog's forums
over which shift we prefer to work. Like many of the others I have a
preference for working though the night. The reasons for this are many
but include:
(1) I'm single I can lay in bed as long as I want. And breakfast is
dinner... and kebabs are lunch... and an icecream is supper.
(2) You get empty streets, and so can drive like someone out of 'The
Fast and the Furious'.
(3) You also get the strange jobs: 'sex-toy accidents', criminal
behaviour, stabbings...
(4) It feels as if you 'own' the world: there is no-one else around, and
anyone you do meet is normally shocked to be awake at night.
(5) You get to work a lot of jobs with the police, who are generally
excellent people to work with.

(6) I get to sleep through early morning television - I'm sorry but I can't
see the attraction of 'Trisha' or 'This Morning'.
(7) I don't have to go into a school, and be surrounded by 400
screaming children just because a kid has sprained their ankle.
(8) There is less management around - actually there is no management
around (always a good thing); I like to avoid management as much as I
can, I worked this job for 6months before they remembered my name.
(9) On a cold winter morning, I'm going home to my warm comfortable
bed, while everyone else is trudging to work.
I still like nights, which makes me a rarity in the LAS. Most of my
most interesting jobs occur at night.
Busy, Busy, Busy
No sooner do I post why I like nightshifts than I get two 'proper'
emergency calls, one after another. The first was a 76-year-old Male
'Suspended'. Unfortunately, despite our best efforts there was little hope
for him, and he died later in hospital without his