Blood, Sweat Tea | Page 7

it left us in awe and wonder.
Shame we were going to 2-year-old with a cough.
This is a rare occurrence.
The Dangers of Prostitution
Occasionally you get a job that makes you laugh; normally because the person you are picking up is an idiot. We got called to a chip shop in one of the main roads in Newham - unfortunately there are about 20 chip shops on this road, but we managed to narrow it down by looking for the shiny white police car parked outside. The call had been given as an 'assault' which can mean anything from a slap on the face to a fatal stabbing.
In this instance it was a young lad, the spitting image of 'Ali G', who was complaining that he had been hit on the nose, needless to say there wasn't a mark on him, and it turned out that he had been hit by his girlfriend. The police wanted to take statements, but he wasn't interested and when I tried to assess him he told me that the ambulance wasn't needed as 'I'm St Johns innit, and a security guard'. This fella couldn't scare a toddler, so I suspected he was telling a little bit of a lie. As he wasn't hurt and 'refused aid' my crew-mate and I retreated to a safe distance to do our paperwork...
In the course of the night we found ourselves at the local hospital (dropping off yet another ill person) when who should walk in with another crew from my station, but our earlier 'Ali G' lookalike. I asked him why he decided to call an ambulance when he'd already sent us packing and it turned out that another woman had hit him... the prostitute he'd hired after his girlfriend had slapped him. Turns out she had hit him and then robbed him of his jewellery. He couldn't have put up much of a fight because he only had one scratch on him.
It's pillocks like these we have to put up with... and call 'sir'...
However, it is also jobs like this that we can use to have a good laugh with our workmates. So people like him do serve some purpose.
My Night Shift
Much fun and games last night, working in the Poplar/Bow area. Not only did some German bloke graffiti on the back of one of the ambulances, but he also called the crew from a payphone and ran off, repeating it twice.
There are a lot of strange people out there...
MacMedic (an American ambulance blog) gave a rundown of what his shifts are like, so I thought I'd do the same, in honour of our brothers in foreign climes.
All these people called an ambulance last night by dialling '999'.
(a) Fractured wrist - young lad at the Boat show.
(b) An alcoholic 'frequent flyer' who has just been released from prison... We thought we'd got rid of him for good.
(c) A 15-year-old with a runny nose.
(d) Very minor RTA.
(e) Domestic Assault, with no actual injury, but police already on scene.
(f) 'Facial Injury' which turned out to mean 'Some bloke kicked my door'.
(g) Assault with a cut hand - actually a decent injury with tendon involvement (which means surgery and physiotherapy).
(h) Varicose Vein that had burst - plenty of blood everywhere.
(i) A 29-year-old with chest pain, hyperventilating, with very upset relatives.
(j) A suicidal overdose in a house filled with young men with short hair and tight T-shirts (ifyouknowwhatImean).
(k) RTA with a traffic light pole coming off the worse in a two-car collision.
(l) An 8-month pregnant female who had fallen earlier that day.
and...
(m) A fitting 9-year-old; only parent spoke English, and they decided to stay at home and send the father who doesn't speak English with us, because 'The hospital has interpreters...'
Now, out of these thirteen jobs, only five actually went to hospital...
This counts as a 'good shift', reasonably interesting jobs and no-one tried to hit me.
I Hate Psychiatric 'Services'
Sorry folks, bit of a rant here... but I last slept 22hours ago...
We got a call to a patient who was 'Depressed - not moving', normally with this type of call it's some teenager having a strop, but this time it was a little different. Basically, the patient, who suffers from depression, was discharged from the local psychiatric unit 3weeks ago and recently had her dose of antidepressants reduced. Yesterday, she was crying all night, and tonight she was just sitting staring into space, refusing to make eye contact and not talking at all.
One of the things that we as an ambulance crew cannot do is physically remove someone to hospital if they don't want to go - that would be kidnapping and is frowned up by the law. This young girl was not going anywhere despite my best attempts to persuade her - she just wasn't communicating.
The solution would be simple: call the