Blister Jones | Page 9

This dog
he's just showed me 's named Alcyfras. He's been runnin' out on the
coast 'n' he's a mutt--he can't beat a fat man. Harms sees him one day at
Oakland, 'n' has a guy buy him.

"Harms brings this pup back East. He has his papers 'n' description all
regular. The guy that buys him ain't wise--he's just a boob Harms is
stallin' with. What he wants me to do is to take the hoss in my string,
get him identified 'n' start him a couple of times; then when the odds is
real juicy I'm to start Friendless under the dog's name 'n' Harms 'n' his
gang'll bet him to a whisper at the poolrooms in Chicago 'n' New York.
"'Where's Friendless now?' I asks him.
"'They're gettin' him ready on a bull-ring up in Illinois,' says Harms.
'He's in good shape 'n' 'll be dead ripe time we get ready to ship him
down here. I figure we'll put this gag across about Christmas.'
"'What does the boy wonder get fur swappin' mules with the
Association?' I says. 'I'm just dyin' to know what Santa Claus'll bring
little Alfred.'
"'You get all expenses, twenty-five bucks a week, 'n' a nice slice of the
velvet when we cleans up,' says Harms.
"'Nix, on that noise!' says I. 'If you or some other benevolent gink don't
crowd five hundred iron dollars on G. Percival the day before the bird
flies, he won't leave the perch.'
"'Don't you trust me?' says Harms.
"'Sure,' I says, 'better'n Cassie Chadwick.'
"He argues, but it don't get him nothin' so he says he'll come across the
day before Friendless brings home the bacon, 'n' I make him cough
enough to pay what I owes. The next day a swipe leads Alcyfras out to
the track.
"'What's the name of that dog?' Peewee Simpson yells, as I'm
cross-tyin' the hoss at the stall door.
"'Alcyfras,' I says, as I pulls the blanket off. Peewee comes over 'n'
looks at the hoss a minute.

"'Alcy nothin'!' he says. 'If that ain't Friendless, I never sees him.'
"I digs up the roll Harms give me.
"I'll gamble this pinch of spinach his name is Alcyfras,' I says.
"'You kin name what you like far as I'm concerned, 'n' change it every
mawnin' before breakfast,' says Peewee. 'But if you starts him as
anythin' but Friendless we don't see your freckled face 'round here no
more.'
"By this time a bunch has gathered 'n' soon there's a swell argument on.
One guy'll say it's Friendless 'n' another 'll say it ain't. Finally
somebody says to send fur Duckfoot Johnson, who swiped Friendless
fur two years. They send for him.
"When Duckfoot comes he busts through the crowd like he's the
paddock judge.
"'Lemme look at dis hoss,' he says.
"Everybody draws back 'n' Duckfoot looks the hoss over 'n' then runs
his hand under his barrel close to the front legs.
"'No, sah, dis ain' Frien'less,' he says. 'Frien'less has a white foot on de
off front laig and besides dat he has a rough-feeling scab on de belly
whar he done rip hisself somehow befo' I gits him. Dis dawg am
smooth as a possum.'
"That settles all arguments. You can't fool a swipe 'bout a hoss he's
taken care of. He knows every hair on him.
"One day I'm clockin' this Alcyfras while a exercise-boy sends him
seven-eights. When I looks at my clock I thinks they ought to lay a
thousand-to-one against the mutt, after he starts a couple of times. Just
then somethin' comes 'n' stands in front of me 'n' begins to make little
squeaky noises.
"'Are you Mr. Blister?' it says.

"I bats my eyes 'n' nods.
"'I've got 'em again,' I thinks.
"'Oh, what a relief!' it squeaks. 'I just thought I'd never find you. I've
been looking all over the race course for you!'
"'Gracious! Ferdy, you've had a awful time, ain't you?' I says. 'If you
want to stay out of trouble, read your Ladies' Home Journal more
careful.'
"'My name is Alcibides Tuttle,' says pink toes, drawin' hisself up. 'And
I am the owner of the horse called Alcyfras. I purchased this animal
upon the advice of my friend, Mr. Harms, whom I met in San
Francisco.'
"Say! I've worked fur some nutty owners, but this yap's the limit.
"'Well, Alci, here comes Alcy now,' I says, as the boy comes up with
the dog, 'n' my new boss stretches his number three neck out of his
number nine collar 'n' blinks at the hoss.
"Alcibides comes back to the stall with me 'n' from then on he sticks to
me tighter 'n a woodtick. He's out to the track every mawnin' by nine 'n'
he don't leave till