Blister Jones | Page 5

of the race, I'm givin' the bird's bad leg a steamin', when
a black swipe named Duckfoot Johnson tells me I'm wanted on the
phone over to the secretary's office, 'n' I gets Duckfoot to go on
steamin' the leg while I'm gone.
"It's a feed man on the phone, wantin' to know when he gets sixteen
bucks I owe him.
"'The bird'll bring home your coin at four o'clock this afternoon,' I tells
him.
"'Well, that's lucky,' he says. 'I thought it was throwed to the birds, 'n' I
didn't figure they'd bring it home again.'
"When I gets back there's a crap game goin' on in front of the stall, 'n'
Duckfoot's shootin'. There's a hot towel on the bird's leg, 'n' it's been
there too long. I takes it off 'n' feel where small blisters has begun to
raise under the hair--a little more 'n' it 'ud been clear to the bone. I
cusses Duckfoot good, 'n' rubs vaseline into the leg."
I interrupted Blister long enough to inquire:
"Don't they blister horses sometimes to cure them of lameness?"

"Sure," he replied. "But a hoss don't work none fur quite a spell
afterwards. A blister, to do any good, fixes him so he can't hardly raise
his leg fur two weeks.
"Well," he went on, "the race fur maidens was the last thing on the card.
I'm in the betting-ring when they chalks up the first odds, 'n' my hoss
opens at twenty-five-to-one. The two entrance moneys have about
cleaned me. I'm only twenty green men strong. I peels off ten of 'em 'n'
shoved up to a booky.
"'On the nose fur that one,' I says, pointin' to the bird's name.
"'Quit your kiddin',' he says. 'What 'ud you do with all that money? This
fur yours.' 'N' he rubs to twelve-to-one.
"'Ain't you the liberal gink?' I says, as he hands me the ticket.
"'I starts fur the next book, but say!--the odds is just meltin' away. Joe's
'n' Cal's dough is comin' down the line, 'n' the gazabos, thinkin' it's wise
money, trails. By post-time the bird's a one-to-three shot.
"I've give the mount to Sweeney, 'n' like a nut I puts him hep to the bird,
'n' he tells his valet to bet a hundred fur him. The bird has on socks
again, but this time they're empty, 'n' the race was a joke. He breaks
fifth at the get-away, but he just mows them dogs down. Sweeney
keeps thinkin' about that hundred, I guess, 'cause he rode the bird all the
way, 'n' finished a million len'ths in front.
"I cashes my ticket, 'n' starts fur the barn to sleep with that bird, when
here comes Joe Nickel.
"'He run a nice race,' he says, grinnin', 'n' hands me six hundred bucks.
"What's this fur?' I says. 'You better be careful . . . I got a weak heart.'
"'I win twelve hundred to the race,' he says. ''N' we splits it two ways.'
"'Nothin' doin',' I says, 'n' tries to hand him back the wad.

"'Go awn!' he says, 'I'll give you a soak in the ear. I bet that money fur
you, kiddo.'
"I looks at the roll 'n' gets wobbly in the knees. I never see so much
kale before--not at one time. Just then we hears the announcer sing out
through a megaphone:
"'The o-o-owner of Count Nobul-l-l-l is wanted in the judge's stand!'
"'Oy, oy!' says Joe. 'You'll need that kale--you're goin' to lose your
happy home. It's Katy bar the door fur yours, Bud!'
"'Don't worry--watch me tell it to 'em,' I says to Joe, as I stuffs the roll
'n' starts fur the stand. I was feelin' purty good.
"'Wait a minute,' says Joe, runnin' after me. 'You can't tell them people
nothin'. You ain't wise to that bunch yet. Bud--why, they'll kid you silly
before they hand it to you, 'n' then change the subject to somethin'
interestin', like where to get pompono cooked to suit 'em. I've been up
against it,' he says, ''n' I'm tellin' you right. Just keep stallin' around
when you get in the stand, 'n' act like you don't know the war's over.'
"'Furget it,' I says. 'I'll show those big stiffs where to head in. I'll
hypnotize the old owls. I'll give 'em a song 'n' dance that's right!'
"As I goes up the steps I see the judges settin' in their chairs, 'n' I takes
off my hat. Colonel King ain't settin', he's standin' up with his hands in
his pockets. Somehow, when I sees him I begins to wilt--he looks so
clean. He's got a white mustache, 'n' his face is kind-a brown 'n' pink.
He looks at me a minute out of them blue eyes of his.