Barks and Purrs | Page 7

basket, because the basket's in a foul carriage which is shaking me to pieces, and because the serenity of those two exasperates me.
TOBY-DOG
Would you like me to look out and tell you what one sees from the carriage window?
KIKI-THE-DEMURE
Everything is equally odious to me.
TOBY-DOG, (having looked out, comes back)
I haven't seen anything....
KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (bitterly)
Thanks just the same.
TOBY-DOG
I mean I haven't seen anything that's easy to describe. Some green things which pass right close to us--so close and so fast that they give one a slap in the eye. A flat field turning 'round and 'round and over there, a little pointed steeple--it's running as fast as the carriage. Another field all red with blossoming clover has just given me another slap in the eye--a red slap. The earth is sinking in--or else we're going up, I'm not sure which. I see way off, far away, some green lawns dotted with white daisies--perhaps they're cows.
KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (with sarcasm)
Or wafers, for sealing letters--or anything you like.
TOBY-DOG
Aren't you the least little bit amused? KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (with a sinister laugh)
Ha! Ask of the damned ...
TOBY-DOG
Of whom?
KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (more and more melodramatic, but without conviction)
... of the damned in his vat of boiling oil, if anything amuses him! Mine is not physical torment. I suffer imprisonment, humiliation, darkness, neglect--
(The train stops. A conductor on the platform cries "Aw-ll a-bor!!... awl aborr!!")
TOBY-DOG, (bewildered)
Someone's crying out! There's an accident!! Let's run!!!
(He throws himself against the carriage door and scratches madly at it.) SHE, (half asleep)
Toby dear, you're a nuisance!
TOBY-DOG, (distracted)
Oh, you inexplicable person! How can you sit there quietly? Don't you hear those cries? They're stopping now--the accident has gone away. Wish I'd known ...
(The train starts again.)
HE, (throwing down his paper)
The poor beast is hungry.
SHE, (now very wide awake)
You think so? Well, I am too. But Toby is to eat very little.
HE, (anxiously)
And Kiki-the-Demure?
SHE, (peremptorily) Kiki sulks, and he hid this morning, so he'll have even less than Toby.
HE
He isn't making a sound. Aren't you afraid he's sick?
SHE
No, he's simply vexed.
KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (as soon as there's question of himself)
Me-ow!
HE, (tenderly and eagerly)
Come my beautiful Kiki, my imprisoned one, come. You shall have cold roast-beef and some breast of chicken ...
(He opens the prison basket and KIKI puts forth his head, flattened on top like that of a serpent; then his long, striped body, cautiously, and so very slowly that one begins to think it's coming out by the yard.)
TOBY-DOG, (pleasantly)
Ah, there you are, cat! Well, now, proclaim your freedom!
(KIKI, without replying, smoothes his ruffled fur.)
TOBY-DOG
Proclaim your freedom I tell you! It's the custom. Whenever a door is opened one must run, jump, twist oneself into half circles and cry out.
KIKI-THE-DEMURE
One? Who's one, pray?
TOBY-DOG
We dogs.
KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (seated and very dignified)
Would you have me bark, too?... We have never followed the same rules of conduct, that I know of.
TOBY-DOG, (vexed)
Oh very well, I don't insist. How do you like this carriage?
KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (sniffing fastidiously)
It's frightful.--However, the cushions are rather good for one's nails.
(He suits the action to the word.)
TOBY-DOG, (aside)
Now if I did that ...
KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (continuing to scratch the upholstery)
Hon! May this spongy, gray cloth soothe my rage!... Since morning, the whole universe has been in a state of monstrous revolt. He whom I love, and who venerates me, made not the least effort to defend me. I've submitted to humiliating contacts, been jolted to death, piercing whistles have shot through my head from ear to ear. Ho, ho, how good it is to relax the nerves and to imagine that, with gleeful claws, one tears the enemies' flesh in bloody shreds! Ho, ho! S-c-r-a-t-c-h, and lift the paws on high! Lift them high as possible! It's a supremely insolent gesture....
SHE
I say, Kiki, when are you going to stop that?
HE, (Indulgent and admiring)
Let him alone. He's doing his nails.
KIKI-THE-DEMURE
He has spoken for me. I forgive him. But since it's allowed, I don't care any more about tearing the cushions ... When will I get out of this? Not that I'm afraid; they are both there, and the dog too, with their everyday faces ... I've twinges in my stomach.
(He yawns. The train stops. A conductor on the platform cries, "Aw-ll a-bor! Aw-ll a-b-o-r-r!!")
TOBY-DOG, (excited)
Screaming again! Another accident?!--Let's run!...
KIKI-THE-DEMURE
Heavens, what a tiresome dog! What does it matter to him, if there is an accident?
I don't believe in it moreover. It's the cry of a man, and men cry out for the pleasure of hearing their own voices.
TOBY-DOG, (calm again)
I'm hungry. Can't we hope to eat soon, my mistress? I don't know what time it is in this strange country, but it seems to me....
SHE
Come now, we'll all have our luncheon.
(She takes the things out of the basket, crumples up some tissue paper and breaks a crisp brown roll.)
TOBY-DOG, (chewing)
What She gave me then must have been very good indeed to seem such a tiny bit. It