Bambi | Page 5

of
consideration in taking my study----"
Bambina looked at him, and began to laugh. Peal followed peal of
laughter until tears stood in her eyes.
"I'll go rescue the study, Herr Professor. Oh, this is too rich! Bernard
Shaw ought to know about me," she laughed, as she tripped upstairs.
So it was that Bambina acquired a husband.

II
Two days later Jarvis, shaved, properly dressed, and apparently sane,
appeared on the piazza, where Bambi and the Professor were at lunch.
He hesitated on the threshold until they both turned toward him.
"Good morning," he ventured.
"Good morning, Jarvis," said Bambi gayly.
"Morning," tersely, from the head of the house.
"Might I ask how long I have been sojourning on the top floor of this
house, and how I got there?"
"Do you mean to say you don't know?"
"Haven't an idea. I have a faint recollection of a big disturbance, and
then peace, heavenly peace, with black coffee every once in a while,

and big ideas flowing like Niagara."
Bambina's eyes shone at him, but her father looked troubled.
"You know what the big disturbance was, don't you?" he asked.
"It seems to me I wanted paper--that somebody was taking my things
away----"
"You'd better tell him, Francesca; he doesn't remember, so I don't think
it can be legal."
Jarvis looked from one to the other.
"What's all this? I don't seem to get you."
Bambi's laugh bubbled over.
"You get me, all right."
"For goodness' sake, talk sense."
"You came here, three days ago, in a trance, and announced that you
had been bounced from the boarding-house, and that you needed paper
to blot up the big ideas--the Niagara ideas----"
"Did I?"
"So I took you in, redeemed your clothes for you----"
"It was you who planted me upstairs in that heavenly quiet place, and
brought black coffee?"
She nodded.
"God bless you for it."
"I did something else, too."

"Did you? What?"
"I married you."
He looked at her, dazed, and then at the Professor.
"What's the joke?" he asked.
"There is no joke," said the Professor sternly. "She did it. I tried to stop
her, but she never listens to me."
"Do you mean, Bambi----" he began.
"I mean you told me to go ahead, so I got a license and a minister, and
married you."
"But where was I when you did it?"
"You were there, I thought, but it didn't seem to take. Can't you
remember anything at all about it, Jarvis?"
"Not a thing. Word of honour! How long have we been married?"
"Three days. You couldn't come out of the play, so I dragged you
upstairs, fed you at stated periods, and let you alone."
He looked at her as if for the first time.
"Why, Bambi," he said, "you are a wonderful person."
"I have known it all along," she replied, sweetly.
"But why, in God's name, did you do it?"
"That's what I say," interpolated the Professor.
"Oh, it just came to me when I saw you needed looking after----"
"Don't you believe it. She intended to do it all along," said her father,

grimly. "I tried to dissuade her. I told her you were a dreamer, penniless,
and always would be, but she wouldn't listen to my practical talk."
"I seem to get a pretty definite idea of your opinion of me, sir. Why
didn't you wake me up, so I could prevent this catastrophe?"
"I supposed you were awake. I didn't know you worked in a cataleptic
fit."
"Catastrophe!" echoed Bambina.
"Certainly. Why don't you look at it in a practical way, as your father
says? I never had any money. I probably never will. I hate the stuff. It's
the curse of the age."
"I know all that."
"You will be wanting food and clothes no doubt, and you will expect
me to provide them."
"Oh, never! You don't think I would take such an advantage of you,
Jarvis, as to marry you when you were in a work fit and then expect
you to support me?"
The Professor shook his head in despair, and arose.
"It's beyond me, all this modern madness. I wash my hands of the
whole affair."
"That's right, Professor Parkhurst. I married him, you know; you
didn't."
"Well, keep him out of my study," he warned.
Then he gathered up his scattered belongings, and turned his absent
gaze on Bambi.
"What is it I want? Oh, yes. Call Ardelia."

Bambi rang, and Ardelia answered the summons.
"Ardelia, did I ask you to remind me of anything this morning?"
She scratched her head in deep thought.
"No, sah, not's as I recolleck. It was yistiddy you tol' me to remin' you,
and I done forgot what it was."
"Ardelia, you are not entirely reliable," he remarked,