Attention Saint Patrick | Page 2

of your fathers! There is
been shenanigans goin' on! I'll find 'em!"
The president could not speak, with Timothy in full view. But then
what was practically a miracle took place. A diny popped out of a hole
in the turf. He looked interestedly about. He was all of three inches
long, with red eyes and a blue tail, and in every proportion he was a
miniature of the extinct dinosaurs of Earth. But he was an improved
model. The dinies of Eire were fitted by evolution--or Satan--to plague
human settlers. They ate their crops, destroyed their homes, devoured
their tools, and when other comestibles turned up they'd take care of
them, too.
This diny surveyed its surroundings. The presidential mansion looked
promising. The diny moved toward it. But Timothy--nap plans
abandoned--flung himself at the diny like the crack of a whip. The diny
plunged back into its hole. Timothy hurtled after it in pursuit. He
disappeared.
The president of Eire breathed. He'd neglected that matter for some
minutes, it seemed. He heard a voice continuing, formidably:
"And I know ye'll try to hide the shenanigans that've destroyed all the
sacrifices Earth's made to have Eire a true Erse colony, ready for Erse
lads and colleens to move to and have room for their children and their
grandchildren too. I know ye'll try! But unless I do find out--not
another bit of help will this colony get from Earth! No more tools! No
more machinery that ye can't have worn out! No more provisions that
ye should be raisin' for yourselves! Your cold-storage plant should be

bulgin' with food! It's near empty! It will not be refilled! And even the
ship that we pay to have stop here every three months, for mail--no
ship!"
"It's the dinies," said the president feebly. "They're a great trouble to us,
sir. They're our great handicap."
"Blather and nonsense!" snapped Sean O'Donohue. "They're no bigger
than mice! Ye could've trapped 'em! Ye could've raised cats! Don't tell
me that fancy-colored little lizards could hinder a world especially set
aside by the intercession of St. Patrick for the Erse people to thrive on!
The token's plain! There's no snakes! And with such a sign to go by,
there must've been shenanigans goin' on to make things go wrong! And
till those shenanigans are exposed an' stopped--there'll be no more help
from Earth for ye blaggards!"
He stamped his way into the presidential mansion. The door slammed
shut. Moira, his granddaughter, regarded the president with sympathy.
He looked bedraggled and crushed. He mopped his forehead. He did
not raise his eyes to her. It was bad enough to be president of a
planetary government that couldn't even pay his salary, so there were
patches in his breeches that Moira must have noticed. It was worse that
the colony was, as a whole, entirely too much like the remaining shanty
areas in Eire back on Earth. But it was tragic that it was ridiculous for
any man on Eire to ask a girl from Earth to join him on so unpromising
a planet.
He said numbly:
"I'll be wishing you good morning, Moira."
He moved away, his chin sunk on his breast. Moira watched him go.
She didn't seem happy. Then, fifty yards from the mansion, a luridly
colored something leaped out of a hole. It was a diny some eight inches
long, in enough of a hurry to say that something appalling was after it.
It landed before the president and took off again for some far horizon.
Then something sinuous and black dropped out of a tree upon it and
instantly violent action took place in a patch of dust. A small cloud

arose. The president watched, with morbid interest, as the sporting
event took place.
Moira stared, incredulous. Then, out of the hole from which the diny
had leaped, a dark round head appeared. It could have been Timothy.
But he saw that this diny was disposed of. That was that. Timothy--if it
was Timothy--withdrew to search further among diny tunnels about the
presidential mansion.
* * * * *
Half an hour later the president told the solicitor general of Eire about it.
He was bitter.
"And when it was over, there was Moira starin' dazed-like from the
porch, and the be-damned snake picked up the diny it'd killed and
started off to dine on it in private. But I was in the way. So the snake
waited, polite, with the diny in its mouth, for me to move on. But it
looked exactly like he'd brought over the diny for me to admire, like a
cat'll show dead mice to a person she thinks will be interested!"
"Holy St. Patrick!" said the solicitor general, appalled. "What'll happen
now?"
"I reason," said the president morbidly,