At Home with the dines

At Home with the Jardines, by
Lilian Bell

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Title: At Home with the Jardines
Author: Lilian Bell

Release Date: July 22, 2006 [eBook #18895]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AT HOME
WITH THE JARDINES***
E-text prepared by Al Haines

AT HOME WITH THE JARDINES

by
LILIAN BELL
Author of "Abroad with the Jimmies," "Hope Loring,", etc.

A. Wessels Company New York 1906
Copyright, 1902 by Harper & Brothers
Copyright, 1903 by the Ridgway-Thayer Company
Copyright, 1904 by Ainslee Magazine Co.
Copyright, 1904 by L. C. Page & Company (Incorporated)
(All rights reserved)

TO
Dr. John Sedgwick Billings, Jr.
AND
Dr. John Clarendon Todd
WHOSE COURAGE, SKILL, AND WISDOM
SAVED A PRECIOUS LIFE

Contents
Chapter
I.

MARY II. THEORIES III. ON THE SUBJECT OF JANITORS IV.
THE ANGEL AND THE AGENT V. HOW WE TAMED THE COOK
VI. THE BEST MAN'S STORY VII. THE PRICE OF QUIET VIII.
MOVING IX. HOW BEE TRIED TO MAKE US SMART X. OUR
FIRST HOUSE-PARTY XI. ON THE GENTLE ART OF WASTING
OTHER PEOPLE'S TIME XII. A LETTER FROM JIMMIE XIII. THE
BREAKING UP OF MARY XIV. AND THEY LIVED HAPPY EVER
AFTER

At Home with the Jardines
CHAPTER I
MARY
I have never dared even inquire why our best man began calling my
husband the Angel. He was with us a great deal during the first months
of our marriage, and he is very observing, so I decided to let sleeping
dogs lie. I, too, am observing.
It is only fair to state, in justice to the best man, that I am a woman of
emotional mountain peaks and dark, deep valleys, while the Angel is
one vast and sunny plateau. With him rain comes in soothing showers,
while rain in my disposition means a soaking, drenching torrent which
sweeps away cattle and cottages and leaves roaring rivers in its wake.
But it took Mary to discover that the smiling plateau was bedded on
solid rock, and had its root in infinity.
Mary is my cook!
Yet Mary is more than cook. She is my housekeeper, mother, trained
nurse, corporation counsel, keeper of the privy purse, chancellor of the
exchequer, fighter of exorbitant bills, seamstress, linen woman, doctor
of small ills, the acme of perpetual good nature, and my best friend.
Cheiro, when he read my palm, said he never before had seen a hand

which had less of a line of luck than mine. He said that I was obliged to
put forth tremendous effort for whatever I achieved. But that was
before Mary selected me for a mistress, for Mary was my first bit of
pure luck. Our meeting came about in this way.
We were at the Waldorf for our honeymoon, which shows how
inexperienced we were, when a chance acquaintance of the Angel's said
to him one night in the billiard-room:
"Jardine, I hear that you are going to housekeeping!"
"Yes," said Aubrey, "we are."
"Has your wife engaged a cook yet?"
"Why, no, I don't believe she has thought about it."
"Well, I know exactly the woman for her. Elderly, honest, experienced,
cooks game to perfection, doesn't drink, thoroughly competent in every
way, and the quaintest character I ever knew. Lived in her last place
twenty-three years, and only left when the family was broken up. Shall
I send her to see you?"
"Do," said Aubrey.
He forgot to tell me about it, so the next morning while he was shaving,
a knock came, and in walked Mary. I was in a kimono, writing notes
and waiting for breakfast to be sent up. Hearing voices, Aubrey came to
the door with one-half of his face covered with lather, and said:
"Oh, yes. I forgot to tell you. Are you the cook sent by Mr. Zanzibar?"
"Yes, sir," said Mary.
Aubrey retired to the bathroom again, communicating with me in
pantomime.
I looked at Mary, and loved her. We eyed each other in silence for a
moment.

"Won't you sit down?" I said, looking at her white hair.
"Thank you, but I'll stand."
That settled it. I didn't care if she stole the shoes off my feet if she
knew her place as well as that. Her face beamed; her skin was fresh and
rosy. Her blue eyes twinkled through her spectacles.
"Would you," I said, "would you like to take entire charge of two
orphans?"
She burst into a fit of laughter.