As A Chinaman Saw Us | Page 9

politician in the heat of a campaign; to win, he would
sacrifice the husband, father, mother, and children of his enemy. So
remarkable is the rage for divorce that many of the great religious
denominations have taken up arms against it. Catholics forbid it.
Episcopalians resent it by ostracism if the cause is trivial, and a
"separation" is denounced in the pulpit.
CHAPTER III
AMERICAN CUSTOMS
The American is an interesting, though not always pleasant, study. His
perfect equipoise, his independence, his assumption that he is the best
product of the best soil in the world, comes first as a shock; but when
you find this but one of the many national characteristics it merely
amuses you. One of the extraordinary features of the American is his
attitude toward the Chinese, who are taken on sufferance. The lower
classes absolutely can conceive of no difference between me and the
"coolie." As an example, a boy on the street accosts me with "Hi, John,
you washee, washee?" Even a representative in Congress insisted on
calling me "John." On protesting to another man, he laughed, and said,
"Oh, the man don't know any better." "But," I replied, "if he does not
know any better how is it he is a lawmaker in your lower house?" "I
give it up," was his answer, and he ordered what they term a
"high-ball." After we had tried several, he laughed and asked, "Shall we
consider the matter a closed incident?" Many diplomatic, social, and
political questions are often settled with a "high-ball."
It is inconceivable to the average American that there can be an
educated Chinese gentleman, a man of real refinement. They know us
by the Cantonese laundrymen, the class which ranks with their lowest
classes. At dinners and receptions I was asked the most atrocious
questions by men and women. One charming young girl, who I was

informed was the relative of a Cabinet officer, asked me if I would not
sometime put up my "pig-tail," as she wished to photograph me.
Another asked if it was really true that we privately considered all
Americans as "white devils." All had an inordinate curiosity to know
my "point of view"; what I thought of them, how their customs differed
from my own. Of course, replies were manifestly impossible. At a
dinner a young man, who, I learned, was a sort of professional
diner-out, remarked to a lady: "None of the American girls will have
me for a husband; do you not think that if I should go to China some
pretty Chinese girl would have me?" This was said before all the
company. Every one was silent, waiting for the response. Looking up,
she replied, with charming naïveté, "No, I do not think so," which
produced much laughter. Now you would have thought the young man
would have been slightly discomfited, but not at all; he laughed heartily,
and plumed himself upon the fact that he had succeeded in bringing out
a reply.
American men have a variety of costumes for as many occasions. They
have one for the morning, which is called a sack-coat, that is, tailless,
and is of mixed colors. With this they wear a low hat, an abomination
called the derby. After twelve o'clock the frock-coat is used, having
long tails reaching to the knees. Senators often wear this costume in the
morning--why I could not learn, though I imagine they think it is more
dignified than the sack. With the afternoon suit goes a high silk hat,
called a "plug" by the lower classes, who never wear them. After dark
two suits of black are worn: one a sack, being informal, the other with
tails, very formal. They also have a suit for the bath--a robe--and a
sleeping-costume, like a huge bag, with sleeves and neck-hole. This is
the night-shirt, and formerly a "nightcap" was used by some. There is
also a hat to go with the evening costume--a high hat, which crushes in.
You may sit on it without injury to yourself or hat. I know this by a
harrowing experience.
Many of the customs of the Americans are strange. Their social life
consists of dinners, receptions, balls, card-parties, teas, and smokers. At
all but the last women are present. At the dinner every one is in evening
dress; the men wear black swallowtail coats, following the English in

every way, low white vest, white starched shirt, white collar and
necktie, and black trousers. If the dinner does not include women the
coat-tails are eliminated, and the vest and necktie are black. Exactly
why this is I do not understand, nor do the Americans. The dinner is
begun with the national drink, the "cocktail"; then follow oysters on the
half-shell, which you eat with an object resembling the trident carried