Apocolocyntosis | Page 7

that road, all down hill. So
although be had a touch of the gout, in a trice they were come to Dis's
door. There lay Cerberus, or, as Horace puts it, the hundred-headed
monster. [Sidenote: Odes ii, 13, 35] Claudius was a trifle perturbed (it
was a little white bitch he used to keep for a pet) when he spied this
black shag-haired hound, not at all the kind of thing you could wish to
meet in the dark. In a loud voice he cried, "Claudius is coming!" All
marched before him singing, "The lost is found, O let us rejoice
together!" [Footnote: With a slight change, a cry used in the worship of
Osiris.] Here were found C. Silius consul elect, Juncus the ex-praetor,
Sextus Traulus, M. Helvius, Trogus, Cotta, Vettius Valens, Fabius,
Roman Knights whom Narcissus had ordered for execution. In the
midst of this chanting company was Mnester the mime, whom Claudius
for honour's sake had made shorter by a head. The news was soon
blown about that Claudius had come: to Messalina they throng: first his
freedmen, Polybius, Myron, Harpocras, Amphaeus, Pheronactus, all
sent before him by Claudius that he might not be unattended anywhere;
next two prefects, Justus Catonius and Rufrius Pollio; then his friends,
Saturninus, Lusius and Pedo Pompeius and Lupus and Celer Asinius,
these of consular rank; last came his brother's daughter, his sister's
daughter, sons-in-law, fathers and mothers-in-law, the whole family in

fact. In a body they came to meet Claudius; and when Claudius saw
them, he exclaimed, "Friends everywhere, on my word! How came you
all here?" To this Pedo Pompeius answered, "What, cruel man? How
came we here? Who but you sent us, you, the murderer of all the
friends that ever you had? To court with you! I'll show you where their
lordships sit."
Pedo brings him before the judgement seat of 14 Aeacus, who was
holding court under the Lex Cornelia to try cases of murder and
assassination. Pedo requests the judge to take the prisoner's name, and
produces a summons with this charge: Senators killed, 35; Roman
Knights, 221; others as the sands of the sea-shore for multitude.
[Sidenote: Il. ix, 385] Claudius finds no counsel. At length out steps P.
Petronius, an old chum of his, a finished scholar in the Claudian tongue
and claims a remand. Not granted. Pedo Pompeius prosecutes with loud
outcry. The counsel for the defence tries to reply; but Aeacus, who is
the soul of justice, will not have it. Aeacus hears the case against
Claudius, refuses to hear the other side and passes sentence against him,
quoting the line:
"As he did, so be he done by, this is justice undefiled." [Footnote: A
proverbial line.]
A great silence fell. Not a soul but was stupefied at this new way of
managing matters; they had never known anything like it before. It was
no new thing to Claudius, yet he thought it unfair. There was a long
discussion as to the punishment he ought to endure. Some said that
Sisyphus had done his job of porterage long enough; Tantalus would be
dying of thirst, if he were not relieved; the drag must be put at last on
wretched Ixion's wheel. But it was determined not to let off any of the
old stagers, lest Claudius should dare to hope for any such relief. It was
agreed that some new punishment must be devised: they must devise
some new task, something senseless, to suggest some craving without
result. Then Aeacus decreed he should rattle dice for ever in a box with
no bottom. At once the poor wretch began his fruitless task of hunting
for the dice, which for ever slipped from his fingers.
"For when he rattled with the box, and thought he now had got 'em. 15

The little cubes would vanish thro' the perforated bottom. Then he
would pick 'em up again, and once more set a-trying: The dice but
served him the same trick: away they went a-flying. So still he tries,
and still he fails; still searching long he lingers; And every time the
tricksy things go slipping thro' his fingers. Just so when Sisyphus at last
once gets there with his boulder, He finds the labour all in vain--it rolls
down off his shoulder."
All on a sudden who should turn up but Caligula, and claims the man
for a slave: brings witnesses, who said they had seen him being flogged,
caned, fisticuffed by him. He is handed over to Caligula, and Caligula
makes him a present to Aeacus. Aeacus delivers him to his freedman
Menander, to be his law-clerk.
End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Apocolocyntosis, by Lucius
Seneca
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APOCOLOCYNTOSIS ***
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