An Onlooker in France 1917-1919 | Page 3

with humanity in khaki weighed down with their
packs.
[Illustration: II. The Bapaume Road.]
The following morning at breakfast at the "Folkestone Hotel" we sat
(p. 013) at the next table to a Major with red tabs. He did not speak to
us, but after breakfast he said: "Is your name Orpen?" "Yes, sir," said I.
"Have you got your car ready?" "Yes, sir," said I. "Well, you had better
drive back with me. Pack all your things in your car." "Yes, sir," said I.
He explained to me that he had come to Boulogne to fetch General
Smuts' luggage, otherwise he gave us no idea of who or what he was,
and off we drove to the C.-in-C.'s house, where he went in with the
General's luggage and left us in the car for about an hour. Then we
went on to Hesdin, where he reported us to the Town Major, who said
he had found billets for us. The Red Tab Major departed, as he said he
was only just in time for his lunch, and told us to come to Rollencourt
soon and report to the Colonel. The Town Major brought us round to

our billet--the most filthy, disgusting house in all Hesdin, and the
owner, an old woman, cursed us soundly, hating the idea of people
being billeted with her. Anyway, there he left us and went off to his
"Mess."
This was all very depressing, so we talked together and went on a
voyage of discovery and found an hotel; then we went back to the billet
and said "good-bye" to Madame and moved our stuff there. But the
hotel wasn't a dream--at least we had no chance of dreaming--bugs, lice
and all sorts of little things were active all night. I had been told by the
War Office to go slow and not try to hustle people, so we decided we
would not go and report to the Colonel till the next day after lunch.
Looking into the yard from my window in the afternoon, I saw two
men I knew, one an artist from Chelsea, the other a Dublin man, who
(p. 014) used to play lawn tennis. They were "Graves." My Dublin
friend was "Adjutant, Graves," in fact he proudly told me that
"Adjutant, Graves, B.E.F., France," would always find him. We dined
with them that night at H.Q. Graves. They were very friendly, and said
we could travel all over the back of the line by going from one
"Graves" to another "Graves." All good chaps, I'm sure, and cheerful,
but we did not do it.
The next day after lunch we drove to Rollencourt, and found the Major
in his office (a hut on the lawn in front of the château). He left, and
returned to say the Colonel could not see us then. Would we come back
at 5 p.m.? So off we went and sat by the side of the road for two hours.
Then again to the Major's at 5 p.m., when he informed us the Colonel
had gone out. Would we come back at 7 p.m.? (No tea offered.) This
we did and waited until 7.50, when the Major informed us that the
Colonel would not see us that evening, but we were to report the next
morning at 9 a.m. (No dinner offered.) We left thinking very
hard--things did not seem so simple after all. We reported at 9 a.m. and
waited, and got a message at 11 a.m. that the Colonel would see us, and
we were shown in to a wizened, sour-faced little man, his breast ablaze
with strange colours. I explained to him that I did not like the billets at
Hesdin, that Hesdin was too far away from anything near the front, and

that I intended to go to Amiens at once. To my surprise he did not seem
to object, and just as we were leaving, he said: "By the way, General
Charteris wants you to go and see him this morning. You had better go
at once." So that was it! If General Charteris had not sent that message
I might not have been admitted to the presence of the Colonel for
weeks. Off we went, full of hope, (p. 015) packed our bags and on to
G.H.Q. proper, and got in to see the General at once--a bluff, jovial
fellow who said: "You go anywhere you like, do anything you like, but
don't ask me to get any Generals to sit to you; they're fed up with
artists." I said: "That's the last thing I want." "Right," said he, "off you
go." So we "offed" it to Amiens, arriving there about 7 p.m. on a cold,
black, wet night. We went to see the Allied Press "Major," to find out