An Ideal Husband | Page 9

Oscar Wilde
CHEVELEY. Yes. That is agreed. I will be in the Ladies' Gallery to-morrow night
at half-past eleven. If by that time - and you will have had heaps of opportunity - you

have made an announcement to the House in the terms I wish, I shall hand you back your
letter with the prettiest thanks, and the best, or at any rate the most suitable, compliment I
can think of. I intend to play quite fairly with you. One should always play fairly . . .
when one has the winning cards. The Baron taught me that . . . amongst other things.
SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. You must let me have time to consider your proposal.
MRS. CHEVELEY. No; you must settle now!
SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. Give me a week - three days!
MRS. CHEVELEY. Impossible! I have got to telegraph to Vienna to- night.
SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. My God! what brought you into my life?
MRS. CHEVELEY. Circumstances. [Moves towards the door.]
SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. Don't go. I consent. The report shall be withdrawn. I will
arrange for a question to be put to me on the subject.
MRS. CHEVELEY. Thank you. I knew we should come to an amicable agreement. I
understood your nature from the first. I analysed you, though you did not adore me. And
now you can get my carriage for me, Sir Robert. I see the people coming up from supper,
and Englishmen always get romantic after a meal, and that bores me dreadfully. [Exit SIR
ROBERT CHILTERN.]
[Enter Guests, LADY CHILTERN, LADY MARKBY, LORD CAVERSHAM, LADY
BASILDON, MRS. MARCHMONT, VICOMTE DE NANJAC, MR. MONTFORD.]
LADY MARKBY. Well, dear Mrs. Cheveley, I hope you have enjoyed yourself. Sir
Robert is very entertaining, is he not?
MRS. CHEVELEY. Most entertaining! I have enjoyed my talk with him immensely.
LADY MARKBY. He has had a very interesting and brilliant career. And he has married
a most admirable wife. Lady Chiltern is a woman of the very highest principles, I am glad
to say. I am a little too old now, myself, to trouble about setting a good example, but I
always admire people who do. And Lady Chiltern has a very ennobling effect on life,
though her dinner-parties are rather dull sometimes. But one can't have everything, can
one? And now I must go, dear. Shall I call for you to-morrow?
MRS. CHEVELEY. Thanks.
LADY MARKBY. We might drive in the Park at five. Everything looks so fresh in the
Park now!
MRS. CHEVELEY. Except the people!
LADY MARKBY. Perhaps the people are a little jaded. I have often observed that the

Season as it goes on produces a kind of softening of the brain. However, I think anything
is better than high intellectual pressure. That is the most unbecoming thing there is. It
makes the noses of the young girls so particularly large. And there is nothing so difficult
to marry as a large nose; men don't like them. Good-night, dear! [To LADY CHILTERN.]
Good-night, Gertrude! [Goes out on LORD CAVERSHAM'S arm.]
MRS. CHEVELEY. What a charming house you have, Lady Chiltern! I have spent a
delightful evening. It has been so interesting getting to know your husband.
LADY CHILTERN. Why did you wish to meet my husband, Mrs. Cheveley?
MRS. CHEVELEY. Oh, I will tell you. I wanted to interest him in this Argentine Canal
scheme, of which I dare say you have heard. And I found him most susceptible, -
susceptible to reason, I mean. A rare thing in a man. I converted him in ten minutes. He is
going to make a speech in the House to-morrow night in favour of the idea. We must go
to the Ladies' Gallery and hear him! It will be a great occasion!
LADY CHILTERN. There must be some mistake. That scheme could never have my
husband's support.
MRS. CHEVELEY. Oh, I assure you it's all settled. I don't regret my tedious journey
from Vienna now. It has been a great success. But, of course, for the next twenty-four
hours the whole thing is a dead secret.
LADY CHILTERN. [Gently.] A secret? Between whom?
MRS. CHEVELEY. [With a flash of amusement in her eyes.] Between your husband and
myself.
SIR ROBERT CHILTERN. [Entering.] Your carriage is here, Mm Cheveley!
MRS. CHEVELEY. Thanks! Good evening, Lady Chiltern! Good-night, Lord Goring! I
am at Claridge's. Don't you think you might leave a card?
LORD GORING. If you wish it, Mrs. Cheveley!
MRS. CHEVELEY. Oh, don't be so solemn about it, or I shall be obliged to leave a card
on you. In England I suppose that would hardly be considered EN REGLE. Abroad, we
are more civilised. Will you see me down, Sir Robert? Now that we have both the same
interests at heart we shall be great friends, I
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