An Autobiography | Page 9

elder brother John went as a surgeon in the Royal Navy--before he was
twenty-one. The demand for surgeons was great during the war time.
He was made a Freemason before the set age, because in case of
capture friends from the fraternity might be of great use. He did not like
his original profession, especially when after the peace he must be a
country practitioner like his father, at every one's beck and call, so he
was articled to his brother, and lived in the house till he married and
settled at Earlston, five miles off. Uncle John Spence was a scholarly
man, shy but kindly, who gave to us children most of the books we
possessed. They were not in such abundance as children read nowadays,

but they were read and re-read.
In these early readings the Calvinistic teaching of the church and the
shorter catechism was supported and exemplified. The only secular
books to counteract them were the "Evenings at Home" and Miss
Edgeworth's "Tales for Young and Old!" The only cloud on my young
life was the gloomy religion, which made me doubt of my own
salvation and despair of the salvation of any but a very small proportion
of the people in the world. Thus the character of God appeared
unlovely, and it was wicked not to love God; and this was my
condemnation. I had learned the shorter catechism with the proofs from
Scripture, and I understood the meaning of the dogmatic theology.
Watts's hymns were much more easy to learn, but the doctrine was the
same. There was no getting away from the feeling that the world was
under a curse ever since that unlucky appleeating in the garden of Eden.
Why, oh! why had not the sentence of death been carried out at once,
and a new start made with more prudent people? The school in which
as a day scholar I passed nine years of my life was more literary than
many which were more pretentious. Needlework was of supreme
importance, certainly, but during the hour and a half every day,
Saturday's half-holiday not excepted, which was given to it by the
whole school at once (odd half-hours were also put in), the best readers
took turns about to read. some book selected by Miss Phin. We were
thus trained to pay attention. History, biography, adventures,
descriptions, and story books were read. Any questions or criticisms
about our sewing, knitting, netting, &c., were carried on in a low voice,
and we learned to work well and quickly, and good reading aloud was
cultivated. First one brother and then another had gone to Edinburgh
for higher education than could be had at Melrose Parish School, and I
wanted to go to a certain institution, the first of the kind, for advanced
teaching for girls, which had a high reputation. I was a very ambitious
girl at 13. I wanted to be a teacher first, and a great writer afterwards.
The qualifications for a teacher would help me to rise to literary fame,
so I obtained from my father a promise that I should go to Edinburgh
next year; but he could not keep it. He was a ruined man.
CHAPTER II.

TOWARDS AUSTRALIA.
Although my mother's family had lost heavily by him, her mother gave
us 500 pounds to make a start in South Australia. An 80-acre section
was built for 80 pounds, and this entitled us to the steerage passage of
four adults. This helped for my elder sister and two brothers (my
younger brother David was left for his education with his aunts in
Scotland), but we had to have another female, so we took with us a
servant girl--most ridiculous, it seems now. I was under the statutory
age of 15. The difference between steerage and intermediate fares had
to be made up, and we sailed from Greenock in July, 1839, in the
barque Palmyra, 400 tons, bound for Adelaide, Port Phillip, and Sydney.
The Palmyra was advertised to carry a cow and an experienced surgeon.
Intermediate passengers had no more advantage of the cow than
steerage folks, and except for the privacy of separate cabins and a
pound of white biscuit per family weekly, we fared exactly as the other
immigrants did, though the cost was double. Twice a week we had
either fresh meat or tinned meat, generally soup and boudle, and the
biscuit seemed half bran, and sometimes it was mouldy. But our mother
thought it was very good for us to endure hardship, and so it was.
There were 150 passengers, mostly South Australian immigrants, in the
little ship. The first and second class passengers were bound for Port
Philip and Sydney in greater proportion than for Adelaide There was in
the saloon the youthful William Milne, and