Alone Again Or | Page 7

his strength to tell her.
"He always talks like that when girls get leeched out," Somnam said, "don't feel bad. You made him get out of bed and come down here to let me out."
Syd didn't like the word she'd used twice, "leeched out." It made him feel worse.
I'm a fucking sexual predator, he thought.
"Listen," Syd said, looking at the floor, "this was a bad idea. You should go back."
She threw herself into him, embraced him. She felt warm against him.
"I'm a virgin," she said into his neck. He felt her breath on his skin. "You can do anything you want to me and keep me. You can deflower me."
Syd pushed her off from him. The elevator felt small and hot.?
"Coming here was wrong of me," he said.?
He saw Somnam begin to cry. Her eyes glowed like cat eyes under the elevator lighting. Saline streamed past the corners of her mouth onto her thin white shirt.
"You don't think I'm pretty?" she said in a warble.
"I think you're very pretty," he said. He knew his voice sounded small and forced.
But you're not crying because you want me to think you're pretty, he thought.?
He wanted to say it, but couldn't.?
"I don't care what you are," she said, rubbing her eyes and straightening her back. I don't want to go back. I just got out. I don't know anything about you, but you can't be worse than this place. Please give me a chance."
Syd looked at the elevator floor for the second time.
This elevator takes forever, he thought.?
He wished that he'd never entered the agency building.
The elevator doors opened.
Somnam took his hand and pulled him out of the elevator. He noticed how smooth and pale her legs looked under the bright lobby lights of the first floor.
They walked past another guard to the outside. Somnam took off the ring and threw it against the building. Syd heard it tink against the wall and watched it fall into the few feet of manicured lawn before the city street.?
He looked at Somnam in the night air and knew he desired her. He felt bad.
The lights inside the dorm room spun in green and red circles in time to the music which dripped out of the boy's quadrasonic speakers. Skulls, birds, and tree leaves vortexed through the air, and someone was inside the walls, fighting to escape the liquid brick surface. On the bed, Jennifer struggled to arouse the boy student with her hand while she kissed him. She knew he was too high to fall asleep right away.
The restaurant was not a cheap one, but with the profit from his foc sales Syd didn't mind. It was the best place he knew of that was open this late at night. The industrial workers wouldn't even be getting out of bed for a few hours.
He watched Somnam. She had been looking all over the restaurant since arriving, and not at Syd. Syd did not mind. He did not like making eye contact with her.?
He noticed that some of the men in the restaurant were glancing at her when they could. Her uniform was small. Syd wondered if she was cold.
I'm a fucking pervert, he thought.
The restaurant was supposed to look like a forest lodge from the 19'Th century. The walls were made of artificial wood logs, with bark and knots in random configurations. The tables had the appearance of a dark wood, and the chairs resembled wickerwork.?
Syd didn't know how close they were to realistic. He'd only seen wickerwork on TV.?
And I don't care anyway, he thought.?
The clientele was mostly young people fresh out of the bars or high on foc. The beer in the restaurant was supposed to be authentic to the time period; Syd had ordered water. Somnam had followed his example.?
?The waitress brought the water over. It was in thin metal cups. Somnam took hers into her hand and felt its surface with her thumb.
"This is amazing, Syd," she said, "I've never been waited on before. Look at this place."?
She smiled and Syd felt like smiling also.
Watch it, he thought, she just likes the outdoors. Not you.?
He took a drink from the water cup. It cooled his throat but his face remained hot.
I never pictured it being like this, he thought.
In the booth behind him Syd heard a couple talking. The man said the woman when she decided to adopt Kenna as a deity.
"When did you find out you were telepathic?" Syd said.?
Somnam looked at him and stopped smiling.?
"I'm a birther. The doctors knew when I was still in the womb, and I got sent to the agency at birth."
Syd took another drink. When he set the cup down he nearly dropped it.
"I thought you said you'd been outside twelve years ago?"
Somnam nodded. "They let you go on guarded walks until you're eleven. They