Alices Adventures in Wonderland | Page 9

who seemed to be a person of authority among them, called out, `Sit
down, all of you, and listen to me! I'LL soon make you dry enough!' They all sat down at
once, in a large ring, with the Mouse in the middle. Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed
on it, for she felt sure she would catch a bad cold if she did not get dry very soon.
`Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, `are you all ready? This is the driest thing
I know. Silence all round, if you please! "William the Conqueror, whose cause was
favoured by the pope, was soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had
been of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls
of Mercia and Northumbria--"'
`Ugh!' said the Lory, with a shiver.
`I beg your pardon!' said the Mouse, frowning, but very politely: `Did you speak?'

`Not I!' said the Lory hastily.
`I thought you did,' said the Mouse. `--I proceed. "Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia
and Northumbria, declared for him: and even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of
Canterbury, found it advisable--"'
`Found WHAT?' said the Duck.
`Found IT,' the Mouse replied rather crossly: `of course you know what "it" means.'
`I know what "it" means well enough, when I find a thing,' said the Duck: `it's generally a
frog or a worm. The question is, what did the archbishop find?'
The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on, `"--found it advisable to
go with Edgar Atheling to meet William and offer him the crown. William's conduct at
first was moderate. But the insolence of his Normans--" How are you getting on now, my
dear?' it continued, turning to Alice as it spoke.
`As wet as ever,' said Alice in a melancholy tone: `it doesn't seem to dry me at all.'
`In that case,' said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, `I move that the meeting adjourn,
for the immediate adoption of more energetic remedies--'
`Speak English!' said the Eaglet. `I don't know the meaning of half those long words, and,
what's more, I don't believe you do either!' And the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a
smile: some of the other birds tittered audibly.
`What I was going to say,' said the Dodo in an offended tone, `was, that the best thing to
get us dry would be a Caucus-race.'
`What IS a Caucus-race?' said Alice; not that she wanted much to know, but the Dodo
had paused as if it thought that SOMEBODY ought to speak, and no one else seemed
inclined to say anything.
`Why,' said the Dodo, `the best way to explain it is to do it.' (And, as you might like to try
the thing yourself, some winter day, I will tell you how the Dodo managed it.)
First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, (`the exact shape doesn't matter,' it
said,) and then all the party were placed along the course, here and there. There was no
`One, two, three, and away,' but they began running when they liked, and left off when
they liked, so that it was not easy to know when the race was over. However, when they
had been running half an hour or so, and were quite dry again, the Dodo suddenly called
out `The race is over!' and they all crowded round it, panting, and asking, `But who has
won?'
This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of thought, and it sat for a
long time with one finger pressed upon its forehead (the position in which you usually
see Shakespeare, in the pictures of him), while the rest waited in silence. At last the Dodo

said, `EVERYBODY has won, and all must have prizes.'
`But who is to give the prizes?' quite a chorus of voices asked.
`Why, SHE, of course,' said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with one finger; and the whole
party at once crowded round her, calling out in a confused way, `Prizes! Prizes!'
Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand in her pocket, and pulled
out a box of comfits, (luckily the salt water had not got into it), and handed them round as
prizes. There was exactly one a-piece all round.
`But she must have a prize herself, you know,' said the Mouse.
`Of course,' the Dodo replied very gravely. `What else have you got in your pocket?' he
went on, turning to Alice.
`Only a thimble,' said Alice sadly.
`Hand it over here,' said the Dodo.
Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo solemnly presented the
thimble, saying `We beg your acceptance of this elegant thimble'; and,