Alibi Ike | Page 9

Ring Lardner

out on a typewriter and both of us signed it.
It was Carey's idear that made the letter good. He stuck in somethin'
about the world's serious money that our wives wasn't goin' to spend
unless she took pity on a "boy who was so shy and modest that he was
afraid to come right out and say that he had asked such a beautiful and
handsome girl to become his bride."
That's prob'ly what got her, or maybe she couldn't of held out much
longer anyway. It was four days after we sent the letter that Cap heard
from his missus again. We was in Cincinnati.
"We've won," he says to us. "The old lady says that Dolly says she'll
give him another chance. But the old lady says it won't do no good for
Ike to write a letter. He'll have to go out there."
"Send him to-night," says Carey.
"I'll pay half his fare," I says.
"I'll pay the other half," says Carey.
"No," says Cap, "the club'll pay his expenses. I'll send him scoutin'."
"Are you goin' to send him to-night?"
"Sure," says Cap. "But I'm goin' to break the news to him right now. It's
time we win a ball game."
So in the clubhouse, just before the game, Cap told him. And I certainly
felt sorry for Rube Benton and Red Ames that afternoon! I and Carey
was standin' in front o' the hotel that night when Ike come out with his
suitcase.
"Sent home?" I says to him.

"No," he says, "I'm goin' scoutin'."
"Where to? " I says. "Fort Wayne?"
"No, not exactly," he says.
"Well," says Carey, "have a good time."
"I ain't lookin' for no good time," says Ike. "I says I was goin' scoutin'."
"Well, then," says Carey, "I hope you see somebody you like."
"And you better have a drink before you go," I says.
"Well," says Ike, "they claim it helps a cold."

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