Abe and Mawruss | Page 6

yesterday as chairman of the entertainment committee of a lodge I belong to. The safe was unlocked from five to seven last night and Schenkmann was in and out here all that time."
He opened the middle compartment and pulled out a roll of bills.
"You see, Abe," he said, counting out the money, "here it is: one hundred, two hundred, three hundred, four hundred and----"
Here Mr. Linkheimer paused and examined the last bill carefully, for instead of a hundred-dollar bill it was only a ten-dollar bill.
"Well, what d'ye think of that dirty thief?" he cried at last. "That Schenkmann has taken a hundred-dollar bill out of there."
"What?" Abe exclaimed.
"Just as sure as you are sitting there," Linkheimer went on excitedly. "That feller Schenkmann has pinched a hundred-dollar bill on me."
Here his academic English completely forsook him and he continued in the vernacular of the lower East Side.
"Always up to now I have kept the safe locked on that feller, and the very first time I get careless he goes to work and does me for a hundred dollars yet."
"But," Abe protested, "you might of made a mistake, ain't it? If the feller took it a hundred dollars, why don't he turn around and ganver the other four hundred? Ain't it? The ten dollars also he might of took it. What?"
"A ganef you couldn't tell what he would do at all," Linkheimer rejoined, and Abe rose to his feet.
"I'm sorry for you, Mr. Linkheimer," he said, seizing his hat, "but I guess I must be getting back to the store. So you shouldn't trouble yourself about this here feller Schenkmann. We decided we would get along without him."
But Abe's words fell on deaf ears, for as he turned to leave Mr. Linkheimer threw up the window sash and thrust his head out.
"Po-lee-eece, po-lee-eece!" he yelled.
* * * * *
When Abe arrived at his place of business after his visit to Max Linkheimer he found Morris whistling cheerfully over the morning mail.
"Well, Abe," Morris cried, "did you seen it Max Linkheimer?"
Abe hurriedly took off his hat and coat, and catching the bandaged thumb in the sleeve lining he swore long and loud.
"Yes, I seen Max Linkheimer," he growled, "and I'm sick and tired of the whole business. Go ahead and get a shipping clerk, Mawruss. I'm through."
"Why?" Morris asked. "Wouldn't Linkheimer give a recommendation, because if he wouldn't, Abe, I am satisfied we should take the feller without one. In fact I'm surprised you didn't bring him along."
"You are, hey?" Abe broke in. "Well, you shouldn't be surprised at nothing like that, Mawruss, because I didn't bring him along for the simple reason, Mawruss, I don't want no ganef working round my place. That's all."
"What do you mean--ganef?" Morris cried. "The feller ain't no more a thief as you are, Abe."
Abe's moustache bristled and his eyes bulged so indignantly that they seemed to rest on his cheeks.
"You should be careful what you say, Mawruss," he retorted. "Maybe he ain't no more a ganef as I am, Mawruss, but just the same, he is in jail and I ain't."
"In jail," Morris exclaimed. "What for in jail?"
"Because he stole from Linkheimer a hundred dollars yesterday, Mawruss, and while I was there yet, Linkheimer finds it out. So naturally he makes this here feller arrested."
"Yesterday, he stole a hundred dollars?" Morris interrupted.
"Yesterday afternoon," Abe repeated. "With my own eyes I seen it the other money which he didn't stole."
"Then," Morris said, "if he stole it yesterday afternoon, Abe, he didn't positively do nothing of the kind."
Forthwith he related to Abe his visit to Schenkmann's rooms and the condition of poverty that he found.
"I give you my word, Abe," he said, "the feller didn't got even a chair to sit on."
"What do you know, Mawruss, what he got and what he didn't got?" Abe rejoined impatiently. "The feller naturally ain't going to show you the hundred dollars which he stole it--especially, Mawruss, if he thinks he could work you for a couple dollars more."
"Say, lookyhere, Abe," Morris broke in; "don't say again that feller stole a hundred dollars, because I'm telling you once more, Abe, I know he didn't take nothing, certain sure."
"Geh wek, Mawruss," Abe cried disgustedly; "you talk like a fool!"
"Do I?" Morris shouted. "All right, Abe. Maybe I do and maybe I don't, but just the same so positive I am he didn't done it, I'm going right down to Henry D. Feldman, and I will fix that feller Linkheimer he should work a poor half-starved yokel for five dollars a week and a couple of top-floor tenement rooms which it ain't worth six dollars a month. Wait! I'll show that sucker."
He seized his hat and made for the elevator door, which he had almost reached when Abe grabbed him by the arm.
"Mawruss," he