Abducted to Oz | Page 6

me after you hear what I have to say."
"Oh," replied the Witch. "Really? And what might that be?"
"Listen carefully," said Graham. "I know where there is a book of
magic spells that can make mincemeat out of Dorothy and the
Scarecrow and those guys."
"You do?" the Witch said, skeptically. "And what is a book?"

"Why, it is a bunch of pieces of paper stuck together at one side and
that has words printed inside of it."
"Oh, yes," said the Witch. "I know what words are. I had some words
of warning printed on some signposts to keep away strangers. And I
once wrote 'SURRENDER DOROTHY' in the sky. But my memory
doesn't include a book. Where is it?"
"Only I can get it," said Graham, realizing that he now had a perfect
way out of the dilemma. "It is back at my home in America." (He was
sure that he could break away from her once he was back home.) But
not to be outsmarted, clutching the boy by the hand, the Witch
immediately pulled him back through the mirror without letting him
free from her vise-like grasp. "Where is this book?" she said angrily.
Then, seeing Graham's math book on the table, she felt a tinge of
recognition. There had been some of these on a table in her castle when
she had demanded that Dorothy give her those magic shoes. So these
were called books! "Is this the one?" she asked, picking up his math
book with her free hand. "What are these words on it?"
"What's wrong?" asked Graham. "Can't you see? Don't your eyes
work?"
"I do not know these words," said the Witch. "My memory has become
clouded on some things. I know the words 'SURRENDER DOROTHY'
and the ones I had on my signposts, but these are unfamiliar. What do
they say?"
"It says," Graham lied, "The Best and Most Complete Book of
Witchcraft Ever Written. It has every spell ever invented in it! Would
you like to have it? If you go away, I'll give it to you."
"I'll take it, but I'll need a reader to read it to me. That shall be you, my
little FOOL!" So saying, she took him back through the mirror, sealing
off the opening behind them forever.
CHAPTER SIX

:
SPELLBOUND!
Once back on the other side of the mirror and in her own domain, the
Witch could not wait to get started on the first spell. After all, who
could resist experimenting with spells from a book with a title like The
Best and Most Complete Book of Witchcraft Ever Written?
"Okay, you little squirt," she snapped. "Read me the first spell."
Graham knew he would have to think off the top of his head and think
fast if he was to come up with something plausible. The minute she
found out that the book was a fake, he would be dead meat, that was for
sure.
"Okay. Well.... Let's see.... The first spiel--I mean, spell--is 'How to
Turn an Obnoxious Dial (or Socially Disadvantaged Countenance) into
a Reflection of Infinite Beauty.'"
"I haven't the faintest idea what you just said," snapped the Witch with
obvious annoyance. "Read it to me again. Wait. That won't do any good.
What do you think it means?"
Graham knew he had her hooked. "It is obviously a spell that will
transform you into the most beautiful creature to ever walk the face of
the earth."
"Oh, my," said the Witch-clone with obvious delight. "Well, let's get
started! What are you waiting for?"
Graham cleared his throat and began to "read" from the book:
"Find a slimy little pickle. Rub it with a shiny nickel. Drop it in a
Witch's hat. Add seventeen eggs on top of that. Top that off with a bowl
of Jell-O and spittle from a little fellow. Add some sour cream and
chives and honey directly from the hives.
[Illustration]

Now add one pint of strawberry jam (preferably bought from Knott's
Berry Farm). Then bend thy head towards thy legs and press said hat
upon thy head. Now stand and then induce a friend to pull it down
below thy crown. Wait at least a half-an-hour. Take off the hat and dust
with flour. Now look in the mirror and thou shalt see none more
lovelier than thee."
"Oh, that does sound absolutely divine!" cried the Witch. "Quick! Help
me gather the materials together so we can start immediately."
Graham could hardly contain himself with the thought of the true
results of this experiment. And although he was going to use this
opportunity to escape, he almost wished he could stay to see the whole
thing through. He congratulated himself on his ability to create such an
authentic-sounding spell and for having the