A Woman Named Smith

A Woman Named Smith

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Title: A Woman Named Smith
Author: Marie Conway Oemler
Release Date: April 8, 2005 [eBook #15591]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
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A WOMAN NAMED SMITH
by
MARIE CONWAY OEMLER
Author of _Slippy McGee_, etc.
Grosset & Dunlap Publishers New York
1919

[Frontispiece illustration: "Sophy," he said, "I have found the lost key

of Hynds House"]

To
ELIZABETH HEYWARD OEMLER
_Sometimes my Little Girl._
When you were yet an Awful Baby, And bawled o' bed-time, I said
"Maybe It is not best to spank or scold her: Suppose a fairy-tale were
told her?" And gave you then, to my undoing, The wolf Red
Riding-Hood pursuing; Sang Mother Goose her artless rhyming;
Showed Jack the Magic Beanstalk climbing; Three Little Pigs were so
appealing, You set up sympathetic squealing! Then, Bitsybet, you had
your mother-- _You bawled until I told another!_
The Awful Baby's gone. Here lately You bear your little self sedately.
You've shed your rompers; you want dresses Prinked out with frillies;
fluff your tresses; Delight your daddy, aunts, and mother; And sisterly
set straight your brother. Your bib-and-tucker days abolished, Your
manners and your nails are polished. One baby trait remains, thank
glory! You're still a glutton for a story. Still, Bitsybet, you beg another:
So here's one for you from
YOUR MOTHER.

CONTENTS

CHAPTER
I THE SCARLET WITCH DEPARTS II AND ARIEL MAKES
MUSIC III THE DEAR LITTLE GOD! IV THE HYNDSES OF
HYNDS HOUSE V "THY NEIGHBOR AS THYSELF" VI
GLAMOURY VII A BRIGHT PARTICULAR STAR VIII
PEACOCKS AND IVORY IX THE JUDGMENT OF SPRING X THE
FOREST OF ARDEN XI THE JINNEE INTERVENES XII MAN
PROPOSES XIII FIRES OF YESTERDAY XIV THE TALISMAN
XV THE HEART OF HYNDS HOUSE XVI THE DEVILL HIS
RAINBOW XVII ON THE KNEES OF THE GODS XVIII THE
GREATEST GIFT XIX DEEP WATERS XX HARBOR

CHARACTERS
SOPHY: A woman named Smith.
ALICIA GAINES: Flower o' the Peach.
NICHOLAS JELNIK: Peacocks and Ivory.
DOCTOR RICHARD GEDDES: _Coeur-de-Lion._
THE AUTHOR: Himself.
THE SECRETARY: A Pleasant Person.
MISS EMMELINE PHELPS-PARSONS: of Boston, Massachusetts.
MISS MARTHA HOPKINS: "Clothed in White Samite."
JUDGE GATCHELL: The Law.
SCHMETZ AND RIEDRIECH: Workmen and Visionaries.
THE JINNEE: A Son of the Prophet.
SOPHRONISBA SCARLETT: "The Scarlett Witch."
THE HYNDSES OF HYNDS HOUSE.
PAYING GUESTS.
THE PEOPLE OF HYNDSVILLE, SOUTH CAROLINA.
MARY MAGDALEN; QUEEN-OF-SHEEBA; FERNOLIA: Important
Persons.
BORIS: A Russian Wolfhound.
THE BLACK FAMILY: A Witch's Cat's Kittens.
BEAUTIFUL DOG: Last but not Least.

A WOMAN NAMED SMITH

CHAPTER I
THE SCARLETT WITCH DEPARTS
If it had been humanly possible for Great-Aunt Sophronisba Scarlett to
lug her place in Hyndsville, South Carolina, along with her into the
next world, plump it squarely in the middle of the Elysian Fields,
plaster it over with "No Trespassing" signs, and then settle herself
down to a blissful eternity of serving writs upon the angels for flying
over her fences without permission, and setting the saved by the ears in
general, she would have done so and felt that heaven was almost as
desirable a place as South Carolina. But as even she couldn't impose
her will upon the next world, and there was nobody in this one she

hated less than she did me--possibly because she had never laid eyes on
me--she willed me Hynds House and what was left of the Hynds
fortune; tying this string to her bequest: I must occupy Hynds House
within six months, and I couldn't rent it, or attempt to sell it, without
forfeiture of the entire estate.
I can fancy the ancient beldam sniggering sardonically the while she
figured to herself the chagrined astonishment, the helpless wrath, of her
watchfully waiting neighbors, when they should discover that historic
Hynds House, dating from the beginning of things Carolinian, had
passed into the unpedigreed hands of a woman named Smith. I can
fancy her balefully exact perception of the attitude so radically
conservative a community must needs assume toward such an intruder
as myself, foisted upon it, so to speak, by an enemy who never failed to
turn the trick.
Because I'm not a Hynds, at all. Great Aunt Sophronisba was my aunt