A Very Pleasaunt Fruitful Diologe Called the Epicure | Page 9

and departed, euery one of them
vnto their owne lodgynges: but anone their stomackes beganne too
waxe an hungred, they maruayled what this shuld meane, so soone to
be an hungred and a thirste, after so sumptuous a feast: at the last the
matter was openly knowen and laught at. _Spu._ Not without a cause, it
had been muche better for thê too haue satisfied their stomackes at their
owne chãbers with a messe of potage, thê too be fed so delitiousli with
vain illusiõs. _H._ And as I thîk ye cõmune sort of men ar muche more
too bee laught at, whiche in steede of Godlye thynges, ||chose vaine and
transitory shadowes, and reioyce excedyngly in suche folishe phansies
that turne not afterwarde in too a laughter, but into euerlasting
lamentation and sorow. Spudeus The more nerelier I note your saiynges,
the better I like thê. _Hedo._ Go too, let vs graunt for a tyme these
thynges too bee called pleasaunt, that in very dede ar not. Would yow
saye that meeth were swete: whiche had more Aloes myngled with it,
then honye? _Spud._ I woulde not so say and if there were but the third
part of an ounce of Aloes mixt with it. _Hedo._ Or els, would you
wishe to bee scabbed because you haue some pleasure too scratch?
_Spud._ Noo, if I wer ||D.i|| in my right mynd. _HED._ Then weigh

with your self how great peyne is intermyngled wyth these false and
wrongly named pleasures, that vnshamefast loue filthie desire, much
eatyng and drinking bring vs vnto: I doo omitte now that, which is
principall grudge of cõscience, enemitie betwixt God and mã, and
expectation of euerlastyng punishêment. What kynd of pleasure, I pray
you is ther in these thinges, that dooeth not bryng with it a greate heape
of outeward euilles? _SPV._ What bee thei? _HEDO._ We ought to let
passe and forbeare in this place auarice, ambition, wrath, pryde enuy,
whiche of their selues bee heuy and sorowful euylles and || let vs
conferre and compare all those thynges together, that haue the name of
some chief and special pleasure: wher as the agew the hedache, the
swelling of the belly, dulnes of witte, infamy, hurt of memory,
vomyting, decaye of stomacke, tremblyng of the body succede of ouer
muche drynking: thynke you, that the Epicure would haue estemed any
suche lyke pleasure as thys, cõuenient and wourthy desire? _SPV._ He
woulde saye it wer vtterly too bee refused. _HEDONi._ Wheras young
men also with hauntynge of whores (as it is dayly seene) catche the
newe leprosie, nowe otherwyse named Jobs agew, and some cal it the
scabbes of Naples, throughe ||D.ii|| which desease they feele often ye
most extreme and cruell paines of deathe euen in this lyfe, and cary
about a bodye resemblyng very much some dead coarse or carryn, do
you thynke that thei apply them selues vnto godlye pleasure. _SPVD._
Noo, for after thei haue been often familiar with their prety ones, then
they must goo streighte too the barbours, that chaunceth continuallye
vnto all whoremongers. _HED._ Now fayne that ther wer a lyke
measure of pain and plesure, would ye then require too haue the
toothache so longe as the pleasure of quaffing & whordome endured?
_SPV._ Verely I had rather wãt them booth, for ther is no commoditie
nor || vantage to bye pleasure with payn but only to chaûg one thing for
another, but the best choise is nowe not too affectionate anye such
leudnes, for _MAR. Tullius_ calleth that an inward greife & sorow.
_He._ But now ye prouocation & entisemêt of vnleful plesure, besides
that it is much lesse then the pain which it bringeth with it, it is also a
thing of a very short time: but if the leprosye bee ones caught, it
tourmêteth mê al their life daies very pitifully & oftentimes cõstraineth
them to wyshe for death before thei cã dye. _SP._ Such disciples as
those then, the Epicure would not knowe. _HED._ For the most part

pouertie, a very miserable and painfull burden, foloweth ||D.iii.||
lechery, of immoderate lust cõmeth the palsie, tremblyng of ye senewes,
bleardnes of eyes, and blyndnes, the leprosie and not these only, is it
not a proper pece of worke (I pray you) to chaûg this short pleasure
neyther honest nor yet godly, for so manye euylles far more greuouse
and of muche longer continuance. _SP._ Although there shoulde no
pain com of it, I esteme hym to bee a very fond occupier, which would
chaûge precious stones for glasse. _HE._ You meane that would lose
the godly pleasures of the mynde, for the coloured pleasures of ye body.
_SP._ That is my meanyng. _HE._ But nowe let vs come to a more
perfecter supputation, neither