A Tale of One City | Page 9

no speech of his would have been
complete without some little sallies of this kind. Now, however, he
rarely indulges in such pleasantries. Mr. Chamberlain's speeches in the
House of Commons though never dull are never funny. He soon
learned his lesson. He very quickly discovered that members of the
House may not object to be amused, and are often, it must be admitted,
easily moved to mirth. At the same time the members of that assembly
do not place a high value upon the words of funny or would-be funny
speakers.
Unless he has changed very much, Mr. Chamberlain has a very keen
sense and appreciation of humour. Probably he would like sometimes
to indulge himself and amuse the House by firing off some humorous
hits and quotations, but he knows the importance of suppressing such
instincts and tendencies if he is to be taken seriously and regarded as a
statesman. Blue books and Biglow, Bills and Sam Slick, do not make
the sort of political punch that an influential leader can afford to ladle
out at St. Stephen's. At the same time, if he cared to indulge his own
ready wit, or to make use of the amusing extracts he has stored away in
his memory, he could doubtless make some lively and diverting
speeches.
I remember when Mr. Chamberlain was Mayor of Birmingham, the late
Mr. George Dawson at a little dinner proposed his health, and in doing
so indulged in some characteristic banter and chaff. Mr. Chamberlain,
then as now, was not a man of Aldermanic girth, and Mr. Dawson in
the course of his humorous remarks took occasion to allude to his slight

and slender proportions, and said he wished there was more of the
Mayor to look at, and that he should like to see him "go to scale better."
When he rose to reply Mr. Chamberlain, in a quiet, dry manner, and
without a smile on his face, remarked, "Mr. Dawson has been good
enough to refer to me as a Mayor without a Corporation." This was so
neat and smart that I need hardly say the company laughed most
amusedly. Probably, if I had kept a notebook, or were now to search
well my memory, I might give other instances of Mr. Chamberlain's
smart, ready wit.
Now, however, as most people know, his speeches are remarkable for
their point, force, logical reasoning, incisive language, and straight,
hard hitting, but, as I have observed, he rarely if ever essays to be funny.
By his sharp remarks and his adept turns of speech he often, however,
creates much laughter--as, for instance, when he once spoke of an
ex-Premier's opportunism and readiness to make promises which, when
they ought to be fulfilled, "snap went the Gladstone bag"--but he never
degenerates into anything approaching buffoonery.
Mr. Chamberlain is always prompt and straightforward in action, and is
pleasant and agreeable in manner and speech. Moreover, he is a man of
consummate tact. I remember in 1874, when he was Mayor, and the
Prince and Princess of Wales paid a visit to Birmingham, there was
much wondering and questioning as to how he would comport himself
on the occasion. At that time he was credited with cherishing rather
strong Republican sentiments. It was even said that he had been known
to go so far as to remain seated when the loyal toasts were drunk. I
certainly cannot say that I was ever witness of such a proceeding, nor
have I been able to trace the statement to any authentic source. Still,
there was a widespread idea that he was not overburdened with feelings
of loyalty, and many people naturally wondered how he would manage
decorously to entertain his Royal guests.
Mr. Chamberlain was quite equal to the occasion. In speech and
manner his conduct was irreproachable, and he won golden opinions
from all sorts of people. I remember that very curious stories were in
circulation at the time as to the etiquette which, it had been laid down,
should be observed on the occasion. It was, indeed, said that, in
consequence of Mr. Chamberlain's supposed Republican sentiments,
special regulations were enjoined, and that the formalities to be

observed in receiving and entertaining the Prince were to be of an extra
rigid character. I, for one, never believed there was any foundation for
these silly reports, but, if any special formalities were prescribed, Mr.
Chamberlain brushed them aside, and simply conducted himself with
quiet, easy grace, always calm and self-possessed, and never fussy or
needlessly obsequious.
Mr. Chamberlain entertained the Royal visitors and others at luncheon
at the Society of Artists' rooms, and it struck me that if he had been a
born courtier, and had been bred in the atmosphere of palaces, he could
hardly have been more "at home"