A Roman Lawyer in Jerusalem | Page 5

true, or am I mad?' 'What true?' I said. 'True
that you seized the Lord! You could not seize him--he is God the Lord!
I thought I saw you seize him. Yet I know That was impossible, for he
is God! And yet you live--you live. He spared you, then. Where am I?
what has happened? A black cloud Came o'er me when you laid your

hands on him. Where are they all? Where is he? Lysias, speak?'
"'Judas,' I said, 'what folly is all this? Christus my men have bound and
borne away! The rest have fled. Rouse now and come with me; My
men await me, rouse yourself and come!'
"Throwing his arms up, in a fit he fell, With a loud shriek that pierced
the silent night. I could not stay, but, calling instant aid, We bore him
quick to the adjacent house. And placing him in kindly charge, I left,
Joining my men who stayed for me below.
"Straight to the high priest's house we hurried on, And Christus in an
inner room we placed, Set at his door a guard, and then came out. After
a time there crept into the hall Where round the blazing coals we sat, a
man, Who in the corner crouched. 'What man are you?' Cried some one;
and I turning, looked at him. 'Twas Peter. ''Tis a fellow of that band
That followed Christus, and believed in him.' ''Tis false!' cried Peter;
and he cursed and swore. 'I know him not--I never saw the man.' But I
said nothing. Soon he went away.
"That night I saw not Judas. The next day, Ghastly, clay-white, a
shadow of a man, With robes all soiled and torn, and tangled beard,
Into the chamber where the council sat Came feebly staggering: scarce
should I have known 'Twas Judas, with that haggard, blasted face: So
had that night's great horror altered him. As one all blindly walking in a
dream He to the table came--against it leaned-- Glared wildly round a
while; then, stretching forth, from his torn robes, a trembling hand,
flung down, As if a snake had stung him, a small purse, That broke and
scattered its white coins about, And, with a shrill voice, cried, 'Take
back the purse 'Twas not for that foul dross I did the deed-- 'Twas not
for that--oh, horror! not for that! But that I did believe he was the Lord;
And that he is the Lord I still believe. But oh, the sin!--the sin! I have
betrayed The innocent blood, and I am lost!--am lost!' So crying, round
his face his robes he threw, And blindly rushed away; and we, aghast,
Looked round--and no one for a moment spoke.
"Seeing that face, I could but fear the end; For death was in it, looking
through his eyes. Nor could I follow to arrest the fate That drove him

madly on with scorpion whip.
"At last the duty of the day was done, And night came on. Forth from
the gates I went, Anxious and pained by many a dubious thought, To
seek for Judas, and to comfort him. The sky was dark with heavy
lowering clouds; A lifeless, stifling air weighed on the world; A
dreadful silence like a nightmare lay Crouched on its bosom, waiting,
grim and grey. In horrible suspense of some dread thing. A creeping
sense of death, a sickening smell, Infected the dull breathing of the
wind. A thrill of ghosts went by me now and then, And made my flesh
creep as I wandered on. At last I came to where a cedar stretched Its
black arms out beneath a dusky rock, And, passing through its shadow,
all at once I started; for against the dubious light A dark and heavy
mass that to and fro Slung slowly with its weight, before me grew. A
sick dread sense came over me; I stopped-- I could not stir. A cold and
clammy sweat Oozed out all over me; and all my limbs, Bending with
tremulous weakness like a child's, Gave way beneath me. Then a sense
of shame Aroused me. I advanced, stretched forth my hand And pushed
the shapeless mass; and at my touch It yielding swung--the branch
above it creaked-- And back returning struck against my face. A human
body! Was it dead or not? Swiftly my sword I drew and cut it down,
And on the sand all heavily it dropped. I plucked the robes away,
exposed the face-- 'Twas Judas, as I feared, cold, stiff, and dead; That
suffering heart of his had ceased to beat."
Thus Lysias spoke, and ended. I confess This story of poor Judas
touched me much. What horrible revulsions must have passed Across
that spirit in those few last hours! What storms, that