A Portraiture of Quakerism, Volume 2 | Page 4

two women are
appointed by that of the women, to wait upon the man and woman
respectively, and to learn from themselves, as well as by other inquiry,
if they stand perfectly clear from any marriage-promises and
engagements to others. At the next monthly meeting the deputation
make their report. If either of the parties is reported to have given
expectation of marriage to any other individual, the proceedings are
stopped till the matter be satisfactorily explained. But if they are both

of them reported to be clear in this respect, they are at liberty to
proceed, and one or more persons of respectability of each sex, are
deputed to see that the marriage be conducted in an orderly manner.
In the case of second marriages, additional instructions are sometimes
given; for if any of the parties thus intimating their intentions of
marrying should have children alive, the same persons, who were
deputed to inquire into their clearness from all other engagements, are
to see that the rights of such children be legally secured.
When the parties are considered to be free, by the reports of the
deputation, to proceed upon their union, they appoint a suitable day for
the celebration of it, which is generally one of the week-day meetings
for worship. On this day they repair to the Meeting-house with their
friends. The congregation, when seated, sit in silence. Perhaps some
minister is induced to speak. After a suitable time has elapsed, the man
and the woman rise up together, and, taking each other by the hand,
declare publicly, that they thus take each other as husband and wife.
This constitutes their marriage. By way, however, of evidence of their
union, a paper is signed by the man and woman, in the presence of
three witnesses, who sign it also, in which it is stated that they have so
taken each other in marriage. And, in addition to this, though, it be not
a necessary practice, another paper is generally produced and read,
stating concisely the proceedings of the parties in their respective
Meetings for the purpose of their marriage, and the declaration made by
them, as having taken each other as man and wife. This is signed by the
parties, their relations, and frequently by many of their friends, and
others present. All marriages of other Dissenters are celebrated in the
established churches, according to the ceremonies of the same. But the
marriages of the Quakers are valid by law in their own Meeting-houses,
when solemnised in this simple manner.
SECT. II.
_Quakers, marrying out of the Society, to be disowned--That regulation
charged with pride and cruelty--Reasons for this disownment are--That
mixed Marriages cannot be celebrated without a violation of same of
the great Principles of the Society--That they are generally productive
of disputes and uneasiness to those concerned--and that the discipline
cannot be carried on in such families._
Among the regulations suggested by George Fox, and adopted by his

followers, it was determined that persons, belonging to the society,
should not intermarry with those of other religious professions. Such an
heterogeneous union was denominated a _mixed marriage_; and
persons, engaging in such mixed marriages, were to be disowned.
People of other denominations have charged the Quakers with a more
than usually censurable pride, on account of their adoption of this law.
They consider them as looking down upon the rest of their
fellow-creatures, as so inferior or unholy, as not to deign or to dare to
mix in alliance with them, or as looking upon them in the same light as
the Jews considered the Heathen, or the Greeks the Barbarian world.
And they have charged them also with as much cruelty as pride, on the
same account. "A Quaker, they say, feels himself strongly attached to
an accomplished woman; but she does not belong to the society. He
wishes to marry, but he cannot marry her on account of its laws.
Having a respect for the society, he looks round it again, but he looks
round it in vain. He finds no one equal to this woman; no one, whom he
could love so well. To marry one in the society, while he loves another
out of it better, would be evidently wrong. If he does not marry her, he
makes the greatest of all sacrifices, for he loses that which he supposes
would constitute a source of enjoyment to him for the remainder of his
life. If he marries her, he is expelled the society; and this, without
having been guilty of an immoral offence."
One of the reasons, which the Quakers give for the adoption of this law
of disownment in the case of mixed marriages, is, that those who
engage in them violate some of the most important principles of the
society, and such