A Political Romance | Page 2

serve Trim
in this Matter to the utmost of his Power: All that was wanting was
previously to inquire, if any one had a Claim to it;--or whether, as it
had, Time immemorial, hung up in the Church, the taking it down
might not raise a Clamour in the Parish. These Inquiries were the very
Thing that Trim dreaded in his Heart--He knew very well that if the
Parson should but say one Word to the Church- Wardens about it, there
would be an End of the whole Affair. For this, and some other Reasons
not necessary to be told you, at present, Trim was for allowing no Time
in this Matter;--but, on the contrary, doubled his Diligence and
Importunity at the Vicarage-House;--plagued the whole Family to
Death;--pressed his Suit Morning, Noon, and Night; and, to shorten my

Story, teazed the poor Gentleman, who was but in an ill State of Health,
almost out of his Life about it.
You will not wonder, when I tell you, that all this Hurry and
Precipitation, on the Side of Master Trim, produced its natural Effect
on the Side of the Parson, and that was, a Suspicion that all was not
right at the Bottom.
He was one Evening sitting alone in his Study, weighing and turning
this Doubt every Way in his Mind; and, after an Hour and a half's
serious Deliberation upon the Affair, and running over Trim's
Behaviour throughout,--he was just saying to himself, It must be
so;--when a sudden Rap at the Door put an End to his Soliloquy,--and,
in a few Minutes, to his Doubts too; for a Labourer in the Town, who
deem'd himself past his fifty-second Year, had been returned by the
Constable in the Militia-List,--and he had come, with a Groat in his
Hand, to search the Parish Register for his Age.--The Parson bid the
poor Fellow put the Groat into his Pocket, and go into the
Kitchen:--Then shutting the Study Door, and taking down the Parish
Register,--Who knows, says he, but I may find something here about
this self-same Watch-Coat?--He had scarce unclasped the Book, in
saying this, when he popp'd upon the very Thing he wanted, fairly
wrote on the first Page, pasted to the Inside of one of the Covers,
whereon was a Memorandum about the very Thing in Question, in
these express Words:
MEMORANDUM.
The great Watch-Coat was purchased and given above two hundred
years ago, by the Lord of the Manor, to this Parish-Church, to the sole
use and Behoof of the poor sextons thereof, and their Sucessors, for
ever, to be Worn by them respectively in wintery cold Nights, in
ringing Complines, Passing-Bells, &c. which the said Lord of the
manor had done, in Piety, to keep the poor Wretches warm, and for the
Good of his own Soul, for Which they were directed to pray, &c. &c.
&c. &c. Just Heaven! said the Parson to himself, looking upwards,
What an Escape have I had! Give this for an Under-Petticoat to Trim's
Wife! I would not have consented to such a Desecration to be Primate

of all England; nay, I would not have disturb'd a single Button of it for
half my Tythes!
Scarce were the Words out of his Mouth, when in pops Trim with the
whole Subject of the Exclamation under both his Arms.--I say, under
both his Arms;--for he had actually got it ripp'd and cut out ready, his
own Jerkin under one Arm, and the Petticoat under the other, in order
to be carried to the Taylor to be made up,--and had just stepp'd in, in
high Spirits, to shew the Parson how cleverly it had held out.
There are many good Similies now subsisting in the World, but which I
have neither Time to recollect or look for, which would give you a
strong Conception of the Astonishment and honest Indignation which
this unexpected Stroke of Trim's Impudence impress'd upon the
Parson's Looks.--Let it suffice to say, That it exceeded all fair
Description,-- as well as all Power of proper Resentment,--except this,
that Trim was ordered, in a stern Voice, to lay the Bundles down upon
the Table,--to go about his Business, and wait upon him, at his Peril,
the next Morning at Eleven precisely,:--Against this Hour, like a wise
Man, the Parson had sent to desire John the Parish-Clerk, who bore an
exceeding good Character as a Man of Truth, and who having,
moreover, a pretty Freehold of about eighteen Pounds a Year in the
Township, was a leading Man in it; and, upon the whole, was such a
one of whom it might be said,--That he rather did Honour to his
Office,--than that his Office did Honour to him.--Him he sends for,
with the Church-Wardens, and one of the Sides- Men, a grave, knowing,