A Little Dinner at Timminss | Page 7

of the country," Rosa said to her
Fitzroy--(between ourselves, she was delighted that Mrs. Simmins was
out of the way, and was as jealous of her as every well- regulated
woman should be of her husband's female friends)--"we can't ask them
to come so far for the evening."
"Why, no, certainly." said Fitzroy, who has himself no very great
opinion of a tea-party; and so the Simminses were cut out of the list.
And what was the consequence? The consequence was, that Simmins
and Timmins cut when they met at Westminster; that Mrs. Simmins
sent back all the books which she had borrowed from Rosa, with a
withering note of thanks; that Rosa goes about saying that Mrs.
Simmins squints; that Mrs. S., on her side, declares that Rosa is
crooked, and behaved shamefully to Captain Hicks in marrying Fitzroy
over him, though she was forced to do it by her mother, and prefers the
Captain to her husband to this day. If, in a word, these two men could
be made to fight, I believe their wives would not be displeased; and the
reason of all this misery, rage, and dissension, lies in a poor little
twopenny dinner-party in Lilliput Street.
Well, the guests, both for before and after meat, having been asked, old
Mrs. Gashleigh, Rosa's mother--(and, by consequence, Fitzroy's DEAR
mother-in-law, though I promise you that "dear" is particularly
sarcastic)--Mrs. Gashleigh of course was sent for, and came with Miss
Eliza Gashleigh, who plays on the guitar, and Emily, who limps a little,
but plays sweetly on the concertina. They live close by--trust them for
that. Your mother-in-law is always within hearing, thank our stars for
the attention of the dear women. The Gashleighs, I say, live close by,
and came early on the morning after Rosa's notes had been issued for
the dinner.
When Fitzroy, who was in his little study, which opens into his little
dining-room--one of those absurd little rooms which ought to be called
a gentleman's pantry, and is scarcely bigger than a shower-bath, or a
state cabin in a ship--when Fitzroy heard his mother-in-law's knock,
and her well-known scuffling and chattering in the passage--in which
she squeezed up young Buttons, the page, while she put questions to

him regarding baby, and the cook's health, and whether she had taken
what Mrs. Gashleigh had sent overnight, and the housemaid's health,
and whether Mr. Timmins had gone to chambers or not--and when,
after this preliminary chatter, Buttons flung open the door,
announcing--"Mrs. Gashleigh and the young ladies," Fitzroy laid down
his Times newspaper with an expression that had best not be printed
here, and took his hat and walked away.
Mrs. Gashleigh has never liked him since he left off calling her mamma,
and kissing her. But he said he could not stand it any longer--he was
hanged if he would. So he went away to chambers, leaving the field
clear to Rosa, mamma, and the two dear girls.
Or to one of them, rather: for before leaving the house, he thought he
would have a look at little Fitzroy up stairs in the nursery, and he found
the child in the hands of his maternal aunt Eliza, who was holding him
and pinching him as if he had been her guitar, I suppose; so that the
little fellow bawled pitifully--and his father finally quitted the premises.
No sooner was he gone, although the party was still a fortnight off, than
the women pounced upon his little study, and began to put it in order.
Some of his papers they pushed up over the bookcase, some they put
behind the Encyclopaedia. Some they crammed into the
drawers--where Mrs. Gashleigh found three cigars, which she pocketed,
and some letters, over which she cast her eye; and by Fitz's return they
had the room as neat as possible, and the best glass and dessert-service
mustered on the study table.
It was a very neat and handsome service, as you may be sure Mrs.
Gashleigh thought, whose rich uncle had purchased it for the young
couple, at Spode and Copeland's; but it was only for twelve persons.
It was agreed that it would be, in all respects, cheaper and better to
purchase a dozen more dessert-plates; and with "my silver basket in the
centre," Mrs. G. said (she is always bragging about that confounded
bread-basket), we need not have any extra china dishes, and the table
will look very pretty."
On making a roll-call of the glass, it was calculated that at least a dozen
or so tumblers, four or five dozen wines, eight water- bottles, and a
proper quantity of ice-plates, were requisite; and that, as they would
always be useful, it would be best to purchase the articles immediately.
Fitz tumbled over the basket containing them,