A House to Let

A House to Let

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Title: A House to Let
Author: Charles Dickens
Release Date: May 10, 2005 [eBook #2324]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII)
***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A HOUSE
TO LET***

Transcribed from the 1903 Chapman and Hall edition by David Price,
email [email protected]. Proofed by David, Edgar Howard,
Dawn Smith, Terry Jeffress and Jane Foster.

A HOUSE TO LET (FULL TEXT) by Charles Dickens, Wilkie Collins,
Elizabeth Gaskell, Adelaide Ann Procter
Contents:
Over the Way The Manchester Marriage Going into Society Three
Evenings in the House Trottle's Report Let at Last

OVER THE WAY
I had been living at Tunbridge Wells and nowhere else, going on for
ten years, when my medical man--very clever in his profession, and the
prettiest player I ever saw in my life of a hand at Long Whist, which
was a noble and a princely game before Short was heard of--said to me,

one day, as he sat feeling my pulse on the actual sofa which my poor
dear sister Jane worked before her spine came on, and laid her on a
board for fifteen months at a stretch--the most upright woman that ever
lived--said to me, "What we want, ma'am, is a fillip."
"Good gracious, goodness gracious, Doctor Towers!" says I, quite
startled at the man, for he was so christened himself: "don't talk as if
you were alluding to people's names; but say what you mean."
"I mean, my dear ma'am, that we want a little change of air and scene."
"Bless the man!" said I; "does he mean we or me!"
"I mean you, ma'am."
"Then Lard forgive you, Doctor Towers," I said; "why don't you get
into a habit of expressing yourself in a straightforward manner, like a
loyal subject of our gracious Queen Victoria, and a member of the
Church of England?"
Towers laughed, as he generally does when he has fidgetted me into
any of my impatient ways--one of my states, as I call them--and then he
began,--
"Tone, ma'am, Tone, is all you require!" He appealed to Trottle, who
just then came in with the coal-scuttle, looking, in his nice black suit,
like an amiable man putting on coals from motives of benevolence.
Trottle (whom I always call my right hand) has been in my service
two-and- thirty years. He entered my service, far away from England.
He is the best of creatures, and the most respectable of men; but,
opinionated.
"What you want, ma'am," says Trottle, making up the fire in his quiet
and skilful way, "is Tone."
"Lard forgive you both!" says I, bursting out a-laughing; "I see you are
in a conspiracy against me, so I suppose you must do what you like
with me, and take me to London for a change."
For some weeks Towers had hinted at London, and consequently I was
prepared for him. When we had got to this point, we got on so
expeditiously, that Trottle was packed off to London next day but one,
to find some sort of place for me to lay my troublesome old head in.
Trottle came back to me at the Wells after two days' absence, with
accounts of a charming place that could be taken for six months certain,
with liberty to renew on the same terms for another six, and which
really did afford every accommodation that I wanted.

"Could you really find no fault at all in the rooms, Trottle?" I asked
him.
"Not a single one, ma'am. They are exactly suitable to you. There is not
a fault in them. There is but one fault outside of them."
"And what's that?"
"They are opposite a House to Let."
"O!" I said, considering of it. "But is that such a very great objection?"
"I think it my duty to mention it, ma'am. It is a dull object to look at.
Otherwise, I was so greatly pleased with the lodging that I should have
closed with the terms at once, as I had your authority to do."
Trottle thinking so highly of the place, in my interest, I wished not to
disappoint him. Consequently I said:
"The empty House may let, perhaps."
"O, dear no, ma'am," said Trottle, shaking his head with decision; "it
won't let. It never does let, ma'am."
"Mercy me! Why not?"
"Nobody knows, ma'am. All I have to mention is, ma'am, that the
House won't let!"
"How long has this unfortunate