A Grandpas Not | Page 9

Visit
museums and historical societies for ideas on how to protect and
display your heirlooms.
What you get in return is personal pleasure, and a store of anecdotes,
history, lore and traditions for grandkids, nieces, nephews, and nearby
and distant family whatever their ages. Photos and sketches, along with
verbal descriptions and commentaries are constituents of tradition and
values-and the finest kind of intergenerational communications.
Values and Traditions
Many older adults have interests other than family. They work, play
golf and other sports, have active social lives and hobbies, and so on.
So, indeed, what's in grandparenting for them?
It depends on how much value a grandparent-and a parent places on
family ties and the need for and the flow of intergenerational
communications. Where family has meaning, interacting with a far
away grandchild adds substance to a 'value'. Then, as the grandparent
ages, communicating with the distant grandchild retains its strength as
a positive force, and enriches the remaining years. It reduces loneliness,
and is an antidote for apathy and depression. Entering grandparenting

with tolerance, constancy, and sincerity adds pleasures to a person's life.
In storytelling, grandparenting invites a call from a distant grandchild
to 'Send me another story,' or better yet, 'I've got an idea for a story. Let
me tell you about it.'
The grandchild chose the grandparent over television and the many
other forms of professionally polished commercial entertainment that
thrusts forward for his or her attention. In so choosing, the youngster
notifies the grandparents through his/her appeal that they, the
grandparents, are wanted and needed. It's Grandchild reaching out and
inviting Grandma and Grandpa into his or her world-with affection.
In single-parent families and in families in which both parents work
away from home, there might not be as many opportunities to pass
along traditions, awareness, and values. Be that as it may, throughout
history the family and tribal elders passed their knowledge and codes of
conduct on to those who, as part of the natural process, carry the
torches into the future. This responsibility to family and community is
in the substance of existence.
Living History
For many of us, our lives are keyed to significant events, transitions,
locales, or something that has importance to ourselves or to our
families. For me, the important events and episodes happened to be on
a time-line by location: the places where my family resided over the
years. I spent the first twenty-five years of my life in the city where I
was born and raised. Afterward, a few years in a distant city, then on to
another and still another, each invariably distant and different than
before.
After I retired, I took the time to make notes on as many important
events that I could recall, and keyed each to a geographic location. I
gave each episode a title or sketched a brief outline that would
stimulate my memory to the place and help me to talk about it. My list
began with city A: my preschool and school years (with several
sub-headings because those times had been chaotic); the Great
Depression, the first job, etc. City B: why I was there; the job; etc. I
continued on to the next and the next.
When I finished my initial list of 'cities' or 'countries' and numbered
them I found that I had more than two hundred events, episodes or time
periods. I arranged them so that one followed the other as they had

occurred or were otherwise linked. That became my outline.
I took the list along when I visited my grandchildren (my daughter had
briefed the family beforehand about Grandpa's list.) Evenings, relaxed
at the table after dinner, Grandson or Granddaughter would call out, for
example, 'Grandpa! Number 67!' I made a big deal out of hauling the
list from my back pocket, carefully unfolding it, locating the number
and reading the title aloud. Then, on to chin-rubbing, head scratching,
ceiling staring, and after enough 'C'mon, grandpa! Get with it!' from all
directions I went into my act, narrating in words, tone, gestures, and
body language the events of oft-told 'Number 67', or whatever number
they had chosen.
They would listen, spellbound and cut in with comments and questions.
To them, it was their family history and often, drama, and they really
want to know. Invariably, the story was followed with reminiscences
by their Mom and Dad who added variations, details, interpretations
from their memories, and spin off comparable events in their lives,
often long into the wee hours.
Autobiography became living history-the occasion of the telling, itself,
is now an event not to be forgotten-and the finest kind of
intergenerational communication.
Folk Tales
An old, old man lived in the home of his son. The son had a wife and a
young son of his own. At meal