A Counter-Blaste to Tobacco | Page 8

an ornament of nature, and can neither by any artifice be at the first acquired, nor once lost, be recouered againe, shall be filthily corrupted with an incurable stinke, which vile qualitie is as directly contrary to that wrong opinion which is holden of the wholesomnesse thereof, as the venime of putrifaction is contrary to the vertue Preseruatiue.
Moreouer, which is a great iniquitie, and against all humanitie, the husband shall not bee ashamed, to reduce thereby his delicate, wholesome, and cleane complexioned wife, to that extremetie, that either shee must also corrupt her sweete breath therewith, or else resolue to liue in a perpetuall stinking torment.
Haue you not reason then to bee ashamed, and to forbeare this filthie noueltie, so basely grounded, so foolishly receiued and so grossely mistaken in the right vse thereof? In your abuse thereof sinning against God, harming yourselues both in persons and goods, and taking also thereby the markes and notes of vanitie vpon you: by the custome thereof making your selues to be wondered at by all forraine ciuil Nations, and by all strangers that come among you, to be scorned and contemned. A custome lothsome to the eye, hatefull to the Nose, harmefull to the braine, dangerous to the Lungs, and in the blacke stinking fume thereof, neerest resembling the horrible Stigian smoke of the pit that is bottomelesse.
UNWIN BROTHERS, PRINTERS, LONDON AND CHILWORTH.
FOOTNOTES:
[Footnote A: This argument is merely that because an inferior race has made a discovery, a superior one would be debasing itself by making use of it.]
[Footnote B: By Sir Walter Raleigh, one of the greatest and most learned men of the age, whose head the author cut off, partly influenced, no doubt, by his detestation of tobacco. Smokers may therefore look upon the author of the "History of the World" as the first martyr in their cause.]
[Footnote C: A centenarian has recently died, the papers relate, who, till within a few days of his death, was in perfect health, having been a constant smoker, but was unfortunately induced by his friends to give up the habit, from which moment he rapidly sank. Probably these barbarians were affected in the same manner.]
[Footnote D: Had the royal pedant ever heard of locking the stable door after the horse has been stolen?]
[Footnote E: The previous arguments can of course have no weight in our day, but this tendency to imitate others is as true now as then. Evidently, if the Darwinian theory holds good, a matter of three centuries is not sufficient to cause any perceptible diminution in the strength of original instinct inherited from the ape.]
[Footnote F: Time has taken upon itself to upset this argument; for though the novelty may certainly be said to have worn off, the habit itself is more firmly rooted than ever.]
[Footnote G: This shows that so late as the 17th century the influence of the planets on the body was an article of firm belief, even amongst the learned. The following recipes may be of interest to the reader. They are taken from a manuscript volume which belonged to and was probably written by Sir John Floyer, physician to King Charles II., who practised at Lichfield, in the Cathedral library of which city the volume now is:--"An antidote to ye plague: take a cock chicken and pull off ye feathers from ye tayle till ye rump bee bare; you hold ye bare of ye same upon ye sore, and ye chicken will gape and labour for life, and in ye end will dye. Then take another and do ye like, and so another still as they dye, till one lives, for then ye venome is drawne out. The last chicken will live and ye patient will mend very speedily."
"Madness in a dog: 'Pega, Tega, Sega, Docemena Mega.' These words written, and ye paper rowl'd up and given to a dog, or anything that is mad, cure him."]
[Footnote H: Or Camisado. A night attack on horseback, wherein the attacking party put their shirts on over their armour, in order to recognise each other in the darkness. Charles II. attempted a Camisado at Worcester, which did not succeed, owing to treachery.]
[Footnote I: Our royal author would no doubt have been astonished to see English officers smoking on the field of battle, which I am told is now a common occurrence.]
[Footnote J: It was not dreamt of in James's philosophy, that the price of tobacco might fall to 5s. 6d. and less a pound.]
[Footnote K: They still say in Scotland, "To feel a smell."]

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