A Comedy of Errors in Seven Acts | Page 7

and Quezox walk the deck)_

_Quezox:_ Most noble sire, I marvel at the speech
Which from the mouth of Seldonskip doth flow;
For highest office,
he no rev'rence feels
And "slang" were but fit outflow of his mind.

_Francos:_ 'Tis ever thus with those born to great wealth
It swells them up and whale like they do
spout.
But gold hath pow'r and it were well indeed
Not to seek combat with a foe so stout.
'Twere best to pass their idle blust'ring
by
For it doth vanish like the dew at morn.
_Quezox:_ It vomits me to gulp the morsel down

Yet I thy hint, subservient, will obey.
_(Aside)_
_(But wisdom whispers keep thy bolo sharp
And his fifth rib,
perchance, may feel its prick.)_ _Francos:_ But Quezox, let us in the
future delve,
For time doth swiftly waft us to our port.
Where I must Caesar's
message loud proclaim
And my strong obligation to you voice.
Our
noble functions must be so performed,
That happy impress graves the
rabble mind
But thus to meet these vultures with a smile
Doth like a
colic make mine honor gripe,
Machiavelian methods were in sooth

The better physic for the patients' needs
And I like good physician
must the probe
Thrust in and sound the ugly, gaping wound.

_Quezox:_ Most noble sire, if I may caution speak
I t were to all this filthy, croaking brood
Ne'er lend an open ear, for in it they
Will honey-coated poison quick distil.
_Francos:_ Trust me, good Quezox, I to every thrust,
Of treach'rous blade, will offer ample shield.
Methinks I'll place them
on the waiting rack
And while I promises sweet-coated make,
Will
gently turn the screw until their bones
Do crack. And then to happy
period make,
The ax shall deftly lop some waiting head,
With touch
most skilful, mellowed by a smile.
_Quezox:_ And, noble sire, I pray
thee hasten not
But let it pleasure thee to so proceed
That dire suspense may make the waiting
wretch
More keenly feel the act of justice stern.
Sweet to my soul 'twill be to walk the
street
And meet prospective victims ere they
fall.
The secret, while a tonic to my soul,
Prepays me mightily for past neglect.

_Francos:_ But Ha! The port is nigh and we must hie
_(The City in
the distance)_
Us to our cabins to enrobe with coats
Of Tam'ny cut, and silken
stovepipe hats--
_(Anxiously)_
But, Quezox, tell me, shall we be beset
By bugs and fleas and snakes
and creeping things? And microbes? Are they floating in the air
So
that in speech I'll dare not ope my mouth?
_Seldonskip (aside) O,
shucks! I should worry!_
_Quezox:_ Most puissant Sir, dread not the
microbes!
A charm, ecclesiastical, well blessed,
Will ward them off; but what
befears me most
Is vermin which infest the offices.
_(Seldonskip
wearing a plug hat, walks slowly along leering
at Quezox)._
_(Speaks)_ Oh Rats! Rats!! and then again more Rats!!!
ACT III
Dramatis Personae
_Caesar:_ . . . . . . _Ruler of the State._
_Francos:_ . . . . . . _Governor
General of a Province._
_Quezox:_ . . . . . . _Resident Delegate from
the Province._ _Seldonskip:_ . . . . _Secretary to the Governor
General._
_Scene I. Throne Room at the Capitol._
_Caesar soliloquizing._
'Tis done! The die indeed is safely cast.
And Wisdom smiles, while
seated on her throne.
'Twere well to kill two birds with one shrewd
fling Of fortune's stone, and thus from grievous ills
Which close
enwrapped by robes of custom, are
Work freedom from the threats of
cruel fate.
Francos, whose mental woof is frail indeed,
Stood for

promotion to important post.
Which might embarrass all the wheels
of state,
And so 'twere well within his itching hand
To place