A Collection of Old English Plays, Vol. III | Page 9

heare it?
Mom. Stoppe, stoppe, faire _Wynnifred_, would you have audience so soone, there were no state in that yfaith. This faire gentlewoman sir--
Wyn. Now we shall have a fiction I beleive.
Mom. Had three Suiters at once.
Wyn. Youle leave out none my Lord.
Mom. No more did you, _Wynnifred_: you enterferde with them all in truth.
Wyn. O Monstrous Lord by this light!
Mom. Now sir to make my tale short I will doe that which she did not; vz. leave out the two first. The third comming, the third night for his turne--
Wyn. My Lord, my Lord, my Lady does that that no body else does, desires your company; and so fare you well.
Mom. O stay a little sweet _Wynnifred_, helpe me but to trusse my Poynts againe, and have with you.
Wyn. Not I by my truth my Lord, I had rather see your hose about your heeles, then I would helpe you to trusse a poynt.
Mom. O witty _Wynnifred_? for that jest, take thy passeport, and tell thy Ladie[14], thou leftst me with my hose about my heeles.
Wyn. Well, well my Lord you shall sit till the mosse grow about your heeles, ere I come at you againe. [Exit.
Mom. She cannot abide to heare of her three Suiters, but is not this very fit my sweet _Clarence_? Thou seest my rare Neece cannot sleepe without me; but for thy company sake, she shall to night; and in the morning I will visit her earely; when doe thou but stand in that place, and thou maiest chance heare (but art sure to see) in what subtill, and farre-fetcht manner Ile solicite her about thee.
Cla. Thank's, worthy Lord.
[Exeunt.
Finis Actus Primi.

Actvs Secvndi.
SCENA PRIMA.
Clarence Solus.
Cla. I that have studied with world-skorning thoughts The way of Heaven, and how trew Heaven is reacht To know how mighty, and how many are The strange affections of enchaunted number; How to distinguish all the motions Of the Celestiall bodies, and what power Doth separate in such forme this massive Rownd; What is his Essence, Efficacies, Beames, Foot-steps, and Shadowes; what Eternesse[15] is, The World, and Time, and Generation; What Soule, the worlds Soule is, what the blacke Springs And unreveald Originall of Things, What their perseverance; what's life, and death, And what our certaine Restauration; Am with the staid-heads of this Time imploy'd To watch with all my Nerves a Female shade.
_Enter Wynnifred, Anabell, with their sowing workes and sing: After their song Enter Lord Momford_.
Mom. Witty Mistrisse _Wynnifred_, where is your Countesse, I pray?
Wyn. Faith your Lordship is bould enough to seeke her out, if she were at her urinall?
Mom. Then sh'as done, it seemes, for here she comes to save me that labour; away, wenches, get you hence wenches. [Exeunt.
Eu. What, can you not abide my maides, unkle?
Mom. I never cood abide a maide in my life Neece, but either I draw away the maide, or the maidenhead with a wet finger[16].
Eug. You love to make your selfe worse then you are still.
Mom. I know few mend in this World, Madam. For the worse the better thought on, the better the worse spoken on ever amongst women.
Eu. I wonder where you have binne all this while with your sentences.
Mom. Faith where I must be againe presently. I cannot stay long with you my deere Neece.
Eu. By my faith but you shall, my Lord. Cods pittie what will become of you shortly, that you drive maids afore you, and offer to leave widowes behind you, as mankindelie as if you had taken a surfet of our Sex lately, and our very sight turnd your stomacke?
Mom. Cods my life, she abuses her best unkle; never trust me if it were not a good revenge to helpe her to the losse of her widow-head.
Eu. That were a revenge, and a halfe, indeed.
Mom. Nay twere but a whole revenge Neece, but such a revenge as would more then observe the true rule of a revenger.
Eu. I know your rule before you utter it, Vlciscere inimico [sic] sed sine tuo incommodo.
Mom. O rare Neece, you may see, what tis to be a scholler now; learning in a woman is like waight in gold, or luster in Diamants, which in no other Stone is so rich or refulgent.
Eug. But say deere Vnckle how could you finde in your heart to stay so long from me?
Mom. Why, alas Neece, y'are so smeard with this willfull widdows three-yeeres blacke weede, that I never come to you, but I dreame of Coarses, and Sepulchres, and Epitaphs, all the night after, and therefore adew deere Neece.
Eug. Beshrew my heart my Lord, if you goe theis three houres.
Mom. Three houres? nay Neece, if I daunce attendance three hours (alone in her Chamber) with any Lady so neere alide to me, I am very idle yfaith--Mary with such an