A Christmas Story | Page 9

Phillips had the nightmare at about two o'clock.
Before I took charge, the allies of my household were accustomed to
come in at all hours and sit up till they were too sleepy to go to bed,
looking the next morning like wet blotting paper. But that was soon
stopped. For the morning of my address to them I stated that the house
was shut up at ten p. m., and now and then it was amusing to hear the
door open as the clock struck.
One night at about twelve as I was sitting at my desk in the library, I
heard someone trying to get in. I knew it was the waiter who had
slipped out without leave, so I turned out the gas, put my head out of
the window and said 'I know it must be a robber, for they are all in,' and
seeing his form I fired off my revolver overhead.--No servant ever tried
again to enter by stealing in after hours. When my sister kept house I
suffered much for want of dishes during many days in the week.--There
was very little variety.
Sundays we had only potatoes and cold meat.

'Why,' I asked.
'They must go to church, my dear brother.'
Mondays, one fry, not even a roast, it was washing day, all the heat
must be turned off from the oven for the boiler.--The cook wouldn't
have it roasted in front, the only true way.
So no dessert could be baked.
Tuesdays I could have no company for it was ironing day, and the irons
filled up the range and nothing extra could be made. I submitted to my
sister.
But now I had soup every day, and whenever I saw anything very good
in market I ordered it home and had it cooked. Strange isn't it, with the
same range and the same cook? Before my reign we could not breakfast
till nine, the cook said that the milkman came so late. During my reign
we breakfasted at eight punctually, for I suggested to her the propriety
of rising at six instead of seven and letting him in on his first trip
instead of taking the milk from him on his return. My sister was
obliged to tell her two or three days before hand that she was going to
have company, that she might have time to get everything ready for
dinner. I frequently brought home two or three guests with fish and
game in the same carriage and ordered it as the fourth course while
partaking of soup. On one occasion I brought in partridges twenty
minutes before dinner. I went down stairs knowing she would be
roused this time, and flanked her by saying, 'Hannah, you won't have
time to pick those birds, so just draw them and skin them. I want them
roasted.' Before she recovered from her astonishment I had departed.
Whenever a quarrel down stairs took place I never interfered as long as
they did not talk loud, but the next day if I noticed any one in the sulks
or a tendency to let things go by, I had the furniture of one room
changed to another. This required 'all hands' to work together, and I
made them fly round so, that when it was done they were only too
happy to go to lunch and rest, and I could hear many a joke and
pleasant laugh rise from the kitchen table.

One rainy evening, as my sister and myself were sitting in front of the
wood fire, exactly two months since the famous contract, and very
much in the same position, and talking over everything but it, a timid
knock was heard. I said 'come in,' and Sabina entered, looking very
healthy and neat--I cannot say pretty, though she had a good figure.
I never asked questions on these occasions. I always made it difficult
for them to talk in this, to them, gloomy room.--They had to stumble
through themselves.
'Can I speak to you, sir.'
'Certainly, Sabina--go on.'
'I have come to say, sir, that--that--I have came to say, sir, that'--a pause;
she looked very guilty.
'That's right, Sabina; you have come to say that--I understand--but what
have you come to say?'
'I have come to say, sir, that--I have come to go, sir!'
I controlled myself. She was an excellent chambermaid; understood my
ways thoroughly; and did her work well; had always been respectful to
me, and was very steady. It would be a great loss, but DISCIPLINE
must be preserved, and my mind was at once made up. My sister
looked surprised and sorry right out.
'Well, Sabina, when do you wish to go.'
'On Saturday, sir.'
Oh how my sister wanted to speak, but I looked at the tin box