A Book of Nonsense | Page 4

Lady of Welling,?Whose praise all the world was a-telling;?She played on the harp, and caught several Carp,?That accomplished Young Lady of Welling.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Person of Tartary,?Who divided his jugular artery;?But he screeched to his Wife, and she said, "Oh, my life! Your death will be felt by all Tartary!"
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man of Whitehaven,?Who danced a quadrille with a Raven;?But they said, "It's absurd to encourage this bird!"?So they smashed that Old Man of Whitehaven.
[Illustration]
There was a Young Lady of Sweden,?Who went by the slow train to Weedon;?When they cried, "Weedon Station!" she made no observation, But thought she should go back to Sweden.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Person of Chester,?Whom several small children did pester;?They threw some large stones, which broke most of his bones, And displeased that Old Person of Chester.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man of the Cape,?Who possessed a large Barbary Ape;?Till the Ape, one dark night, set the house all alight, Which burned that Old Man of the Cape.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Person of Burton,?Whose answers were rather uncertain;?When they said, "How d' ye do?" he replied, "Who are you?" That distressing Old Person of Burton.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Person of Ems?Who casually fell in the Thames;?And when he was found, they said he was drowned,?That unlucky Old Person of Ems.
[Illustration]
There was a Young Girl of Majorca,?Whose Aunt was a very fast walker;?She walked seventy miles, and leaped fifteen stiles,?Which astonished that Girl of Majorca.
[Illustration]
There was a Young Lady of Poole,?Whose soup was excessively cool;?So she put it to boil by the aid of some oil,?That ingenious Young Lady of Poole.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Lady of Prague,?Whose language was horribly vague;?When they said, "Are these caps?" she answered, "Perhaps!" That oracular Lady of Prague.
[Illustration]
There was a Young Lady of Parma,?Whose conduct grew calmer and calmer:?When they said, "Are you dumb?" she merely said, "Hum!" That provoking Young Lady of Parma.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Person of Sparta,?Who had twenty-five sons and one "darter;"?He fed them on Snails, and weighed them in scales,?That wonderful Person of Sparta.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man on whose nose?Most birds of the air could repose;?But they all flew away at the closing of day,?Which relieved that Old Man and his nose.
[Illustration]
There was a Young Lady of Turkey,?Who wept when the weather was murky;?When the day turned out fine, she ceased to repine,?That capricious Young Lady of Turkey.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man of A?sta?Who possessed a large Cow, but he lost her;?But they said, "Don't you see she has run up a tree,?You invidious Old Man of A?sta?"
[Illustration]
There was a Young Person of Crete,?Whose toilette was far from complete;?She dressed in a sack spickle-speckled with black,?That ombliferous Person of Crete.
[Illustration]
There was a Young Lady of Clare,?Who was madly pursued by a Bear;?When she found she was tired, she abruptly expired,?That unfortunate Lady of Clare.
[Illustration]
There was a Young Lady of Dorking,?Who bought a large bonnet for walking;?But its color and size so bedazzled her eyes,?That she very soon went back to Dorking.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man of Cape Horn,?Who wished he had never been born;?So he sat on a Chair till he died of despair,?That dolorous Man of Cape Horn.
[Illustration]
There was an old Person of Cromer,?Who stood on one leg to read Homer;?When he found he grew stiff, he jumped over the cliff,?Which concluded that Person of Cromer.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man of the Hague,?Whose ideas were excessively vague;?He built a balloon to examine the moon,?That deluded Old Man of the Hague.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Person of Spain,?Who hated all trouble and pain;?So he sate on a chair with his feet in the air,?That umbrageous Old Person of Spain.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man who said, "Well!?Will nobody answer this bell??I have pulled day and night, till my hair has grown white, But nobody answers this bell!"
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man with an Owl,?Who continued to bother and howl;?He sat on a rail, and imbibed bitter ale,?Which refreshed that Old Man and his Owl.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man in a casement,?Who held up his hands in amazement;?When they said, "Sir, you'll fall!" he replied, "Not at all!" That incipient Old Man in a casement.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Person of Ewell,?Who chiefly subsisted on gruel;?But to make it more nice, he inserted some Mice,?Which refreshed that Old Person of Ewell.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man of Peru.?Who never knew what he should do;?So he tore off his hair, and behaved like a bear,?That intrinsic Old Man of Peru.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man with a beard,?Who said, "It is just as I feared!--?Two Owls and a Hen, four Larks and a Wren,?Have all built their nests in my beard."
[Illustration]
There was a Young Lady whose eyes?Were unique as to color and size;?When she opened them wide, people all turned aside,?And started away in surprise.
[Illustration]
There was a Young Lady