A Book of Nonsense | Page 4

was an Old Man with a beard,
Who sat on a Horse when he
reared;
But they said, "Never mind! you will fall off behind,
You
propitious Old Man with a beard!"
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man of Berlin,
Whose form was uncommonly thin;

Till he once, by mistake, was mixed up in a cake,
So they baked
that Old Man of Berlin.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man of the West,
Who never could get any rest;

So they set him to spin on his nose and his chin,
Which cured that
Old Man of the West.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Person of Cheadle
Was put in the stocks by the
Beadle
For stealing some pigs, some coats, and some wigs,
That
horrible person of Cheadle.

[Illustration]
There was an Old Person of Anerley,
Whose conduct was strange and
unmannerly;
He rushed down the Strand with a Pig in each hand,

But returned in the evening to Anerley.
[Illustration]
There was a Young Lady of Wales,
Who caught a large Fish without
scales;
When she lifted her hook, she exclaimed, "Only look!"
That
ecstatic Young Lady of Wales.
[Illustration]
There was a Young Lady of Welling,
Whose praise all the world was
a-telling;
She played on the harp, and caught several Carp,
That
accomplished Young Lady of Welling.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Person of Tartary,
Who divided his jugular artery;

But he screeched to his Wife, and she said, "Oh, my life! Your death
will be felt by all Tartary!"
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man of Whitehaven,
Who danced a quadrille with
a Raven;
But they said, "It's absurd to encourage this bird!"
So they
smashed that Old Man of Whitehaven.
[Illustration]
There was a Young Lady of Sweden,
Who went by the slow train to
Weedon;
When they cried, "Weedon Station!" she made no
observation, But thought she should go back to Sweden.
[Illustration]

There was an Old Person of Chester,
Whom several small children
did pester;
They threw some large stones, which broke most of his
bones, And displeased that Old Person of Chester.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man of the Cape,
Who possessed a large Barbary
Ape;
Till the Ape, one dark night, set the house all alight, Which
burned that Old Man of the Cape.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Person of Burton,
Whose answers were rather
uncertain;
When they said, "How d' ye do?" he replied, "Who are
you?" That distressing Old Person of Burton.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Person of Ems
Who casually fell in the Thames;

And when he was found, they said he was drowned,
That unlucky
Old Person of Ems.
[Illustration]
There was a Young Girl of Majorca,
Whose Aunt was a very fast
walker;
She walked seventy miles, and leaped fifteen stiles,
Which
astonished that Girl of Majorca.
[Illustration]
There was a Young Lady of Poole,
Whose soup was excessively cool;

So she put it to boil by the aid of some oil,
That ingenious Young
Lady of Poole.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Lady of Prague,
Whose language was horribly

vague;
When they said, "Are these caps?" she answered, "Perhaps!"
That oracular Lady of Prague.
[Illustration]
There was a Young Lady of Parma,
Whose conduct grew calmer and
calmer:
When they said, "Are you dumb?" she merely said, "Hum!"
That provoking Young Lady of Parma.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Person of Sparta,
Who had twenty-five sons and
one "darter;"
He fed them on Snails, and weighed them in scales,

That wonderful Person of Sparta.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man on whose nose
Most birds of the air could
repose;
But they all flew away at the closing of day,
Which relieved
that Old Man and his nose.
[Illustration]
There was a Young Lady of Turkey,
Who wept when the weather
was murky;
When the day turned out fine, she ceased to repine,

That capricious Young Lady of Turkey.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man of Aôsta
Who possessed a large Cow, but he
lost her;
But they said, "Don't you see she has run up a tree,
You
invidious Old Man of Aôsta?"
[Illustration]
There was a Young Person of Crete,
Whose toilette was far from
complete;
She dressed in a sack spickle-speckled with black,
That

ombliferous Person of Crete.
[Illustration]
There was a Young Lady of Clare,
Who was madly pursued by a
Bear;
When she found she was tired, she abruptly expired,
That
unfortunate Lady of Clare.
[Illustration]
There was a Young Lady of Dorking,
Who bought a large bonnet for
walking;
But its color and size so bedazzled her eyes,
That she very
soon went back to Dorking.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man of Cape Horn,
Who wished he had never been
born;
So he sat on a Chair till he died of despair,
That dolorous
Man of Cape Horn.
[Illustration]
There was an old Person of Cromer,
Who stood on one leg to read
Homer;
When he found he grew stiff, he jumped over the cliff,

Which concluded that Person of Cromer.
[Illustration]
There was an Old Man of the Hague,
Whose ideas were excessively
vague;
He built a balloon to examine the moon,
That deluded Old
Man of the Hague.
[Illustration]
There was an Old